I am so upset right now, waking up to find out that half of my otp gone ;A;

As you can tell from my username, jetidalwave, I started out as a Sone; and i still am a sone. My biases are Tiffany and Jessica, (hence the name jetidalwave). Girls Generation was the first girl group who had brought me into the kpop fandom and they've helped me through all the hardships i've faced. Although I may seem to be an Exo-L from my works and from people who know me in real life, or on twitter and tumblr, I'm actually an overall SM stan. I've also stanned SHinee at a point in my life. I've pretty much stanned all the SM groups throughout the years and my love for them continued to grow.

So on May 15th 2014, the news of Kris struck me big. Needless to say, I cried. It was the first time I had cried over someone who didn't know of my existence, I mean come on, even the thought itself sounds way too ridiculous. But as I (over)thought about it, I realised that I wasn't crying because my ot12 had now been reduced to ot11. I was crying because I realised how bad the Exo members would feel. They'd lost a friend, a brother because of something SM had done and I was afraid of how other fandoms would start to think about a weak bond between the members. I didn't want to believe in that. 

And then came the dating rumours. Hyoyeon, then Yoona, then Sooyoung, then Tiffany. But when Taeyeon was caught by dispatch all hell broke loose. It was a war between fandoms. Sones vs Exo-Ls. And everyone started degrading each other's idol. It was crazy basically. 

AND came Sulli's dating scandal. I'm still not over that. f(x) doesn't deserve to go through all that at all. They don't even have a fanclub name, much less a solo concert. How could sm do this to them?

There were also minor rumours here and there that were too trivial for me to care about basically. But today on the 30th of September 2014, the last day of the 9th month, was the end of ot9. And this is the second time I'm crying over a person who knows nothing of my existence. The jetidalwave started in 2007, the JeTi otp game was so strong. Their first debut and all was tough. I had only come to know of them during the Gee era which was far from when they had debuted. But being a Sone of 5 years, believe me when I say there's nothing stronger than the bond between Soshi. As a fan, I'd know nothing of their personal lives but would it be wrong of me to believe the promises they'd made on national television? In concerts? I'd been a few events in which I had seen my ot9 as well as other sm artists. Two of which were SMTOWN and Girls,love&peace world tour.

But to those who had never actually seen them live as ot9, we'd always thought that there'd be other chances to see them. But personally, after a turbulent 2014, after grueling pain of watching 3 members of 3 major kpop groups leave one after the other, I think we've finally learnt that idols are only as indestructible as we believe them to be.

Kingdoms will fall and the ones who bear the crown will bear the weight of the crown. They all will fall one day, they're only human but let's give them the benefit of doubt when they preach, "we'd love to promote as a group until forever."  The future holds no expectations. It will be what it will be. The word 'forever' itself has an 'over' in it. So although I have a glimmer of hope that Jessica will continue to stay and promote with her 8 other best friends, what's done has been done and Jessica will continue to be my Maomao just as Kris has continued to be my Duizhang.

I will fight for my princesses till the day i die.

Right now its SNSD

Tomorrow its SNSD 

Forever its SNSD