DO NOT READ I U DO NOT LIKE SO IF U DONT LIKE THIS DONT COMMENT ANYTHING MEAN......... 

IM JUST REALLY UPSET TODAY.... So please

I don't know why I'm depressed a lot.

my life seems like a mess and the only way to get out of that depression for the moment is to listen to music, 

music is soo beautiful it changes ur mood so fast, music is something everyone loves it is somthing that can not be taken away. 

But me when I'm depressed I don't Lisent to happy loud cheerful music I Lisent to sold sad songs that would make u cry an most don't have lyric.

i get depressed over lots of things and some I dot even know, I know depression is bad for u, but I don't know why I'm like this.....sometime I feel I'm not loved so I watch my oppa and s singing dancing and fooling around and saying I love u to the camera, it would feel like ur actually there with them.

and when I feel like god isn't on my side and nothing goes right I read fanfic (mostly romantic comedy) I watch some kdrama cause when I watch those movies/ read this stories I feel like I'm that girl and that me/I never existed.

and when I need a sholder I have no one but my bed to hug me and keep me warm. 

I try telling people I trust most that I'm depressed but not just like that but I say that I'm hurt that I hate people and I talk about my pass, just so I can give them hints about me and depression but they never seem to listen they might say nice things like "don't think about them their just jealous" " it's alright that was the past".

but those words don't help I know ur not really paying atension and think I'm makeing up something, but I'm not, I'm depressed and very night almost. And most times I don't even know why... Just like today....... Today was fine but when it darkened I became dark as will, my mind went back to the past at night.....

in the day u might not see my dark circles but when I look down I u look under my eyes ull see them clearly and it will scare u.

I'm those people who smile a lot and can't stop because there so use to it, not because they are alway happy, by cause at night they practice to look happy, to acted happy, and sometimes they even convince theresleeves that their happy...... But that doesn't last long.

i hate depression.........