Okay, so I'm co-author of a story and I've been asked to write my own song lyrics. They're done now and I really want your opinion on them. It's my first time writing lyrics, so I wonder if I did any good.

The song is called Demon and I based it off/on my own experiences, my first love to be exact. My first love is something I wish I could forget about. I'm still scarred by it...

Anyway, the main subject of the song is how someone can hurt you (emotionally in my case) so much and yet, you keep loving that person.

Demon:

I'm running through a field

Hunted by the unknown

How can I escape?

I'm brandmarked by your gaze

The gaze which I cannot see

Even my soul aches at the reflection of you

The reflection which I cannot see

What are you? 

I can feel a sharp knife piercing through my heart

Is it you? Why are you torturing me?

Where are you? Where are you? What are you?

The wounds are still open

The bleeding is still fresh

The pain is burning in my veins

Am I dying?

Where are you? Where are you? What are you?

Stop chasing me!

Haven't you hurt me enough?

Go away!

I'm begging you

Why me?

Please leave me alone

Where are you? Where are you? What are you?

Stop it!

Leave!!!

Enough is enough!

Go away now!!!

Am I alone?

Are you gone?

Where am I?

This is it

You're gone

You've left me

Finally

It feels like I'm getting ripped in pieces

You're back

Why does it feel so pleasant?

Where are you? Where are you? What are you?

The pain is burning like your deep gaze

Am I dying?

For some reason I don't mind

Did you curse me?

My toes curl and I hiss in pain

I missed you

Please stay with me forever

Please don't go

Where are you? Where are you? What are you?

Please, no bashing. Keep friendly, yet honest

Maybe I should post the story of my first love in a blog post? Or should I not?