So this was actually, i guess you could say inspired by SHINeegirl989.. She was talking about how she missed Kris in her post and I ended up writing a long comment .. and I decided that I wanted to share a really hard time in my life. And that is EXO12 to EXO11!

First, I support both EXO 11 and EXO12! Because WE ARE ONE!!!! So Lets LOVE! I also want to state that my bias in EXO is Kris, and my bias wrecker is Baekhyun, with Chanyeol as the very very close runner up for bias wrecker. I love the rest too obviously but here's my story. 

MAY~So when I first saw that article that Kris was leaving, and he filed a lawsuit. I couldn't believe it! My heart sank. I wanted to cry but I couldn't.. It hurt so much and I know it may be a little weird but I literally felt like I had lost him. I tried staying strong and held back the tears. And maybe because I did so, I had an even harder time! My twitter account and facebook account plus my tumblr were all filled with #EXO12 and #WeBelieveInYouKris # StayStrongEXO #LetsLove. They were filled with fellow exo-ls all around the world and with my personal posts. At the time, I would listen to an EXO song and cry myself to sleep, especially on the days I missed Kris. I didn't cry every night and even then it wasn't full on break down but I did cry. (By the way, I dont really cry so, I was surprised myself) I did not know I loved EXO so much. Soon, I couldn't even listen to EXO songs anymore because then I really would burst into tears, so I didn't because I wanted to stay strong for EXO and give them smiles(even if they can't see me, I would send my regards telepathically WE ARE ONE!) ... Even though I couldn't listen to songs, I rewatched their showtime and watched interviews. For this tough period, I relied on Baekhyun, my bias wrecker, to make me smile and brighten my days. I was able to get through it okay-ish. 

But then that fateful day cam when Baekhyun was caught dating Taeyeon and SM confirmed the rumors. When I found the news, I burst into tears, full-on cry with them snot and tears shooting everywhere. After I calmed down a bit, I went to tell my two dongsaengs (sisters) of the news who were also exo-ls. I forced myself to watch EXO shows that day and released my sadness. Though not all of it. I was sad because both my biases were torn from my side. I felt alone. I really felt that EXO was not there for me that day. I cried myself to sleep. I was sad that Baekhyun was now someone's and the thing that kept me really tied to EXO was now gone. Even so, I was happy for Baekhyun and sent my congratulatory thoughts to him. #Baekyeon! (By the way, my bias in SNSD is also Taeyeon so I couldn't possibly deny her not that I would deny a person EXO chose to date)

Anyways so for four months from May to August, just last month, I couldn't listen to EXO songs nor watch their shows! I still sent all the support I could, but I couldn't bear the pain. GO OVERDOSE STILL THOUGH! Occasionally I would try and force myself to listen to their songs like Moonlight or Run but that was it. So four months passed by, and yess I still wrote a Kris fanfic to show my support.

BUT! I did get over it! I Still miss Kris as f***! but! I was okay. I could listen to their songs and watch their shows now! How? CHANYEOL! He is the one who I felt stayed by y side. I watched him in roommate and through that I was able to smile, and stay connected with EXO! Chanyeol was my savior.. Then I saw this article, http://www.kpopstarz.com/articles/100159/20140723/is-chanyeol-the-savior-of-exo-opinion.htm. AND TO ME IT WAS TRUE! 

LOL anyways I am currently keeping up with EXO! I made an EXO-L account on August 13, 2014. and Still keeping uo with Roommate and Promotions. I miss Kris and still have a hard time here and there knowing Baekhyun is not mine anymore  lol... Haha But these days I don't know how to answer when asked who my bias in EXO is.. Is it Kris, the one who is still fighting in the lawuit to get out of EXO? Is it Baekhyun who is datiing someone? Or is it Chanyeol, my EXO savior? I have been answering that Chanyeol is my bias but I feel wronged to kris and Baekhyun. One kris has not officially left yet. Two, I dont want people to misunderstand that I am not supporting Baekhyun just because he is now dating! I STILL SUPPORT BAEKHYUN; JUST ITS HARD TO SAY HE IS MY BIAS. Third, Chanyeol is my savior and my current reason for smiles in EXO but does that make him my bias? I love that man! Anyways you can see my troubles! 

Today is September 15th, and the current time is 9:29 pm. 

P.S: I finished Its Okay Thats Love with Kyungsoo-ah! <3 <3 I can't wait for D.O's new movie, Luhan's film, And Kris' Somewhere Only We Know! PLeASE SUPPORT THEM!!!!!!!! and If you want, I would love to hear your tough times too. Be it about EXO or not EXO!!!

imagine that man telling you, "Youre number one" or "You better watch and support me! :)"

 lol he is so cute in this drama!!!!!! KYUNGSOO-AH!!!!! Lol my Kyungsoo feels are being activated!!!

#EXO12 #EXO11 #WeBelieveInYouKris #StayStrongEXO #Baekyeon #EXO #WEAREONE #Let'sLove #EXO-L

UPDATE: WOW ITS BEEN SO LONG. I CAME HERE BECAUSE OF KAISTAL. I SAW THAT A FELLOW EXO L WAS HAVING A HARD TIME AND I HOPE SHE OR ANY OTHER FAN FEELS BETTER ONCE THEY READ THIS. I know many are having the same issues like when I found out that Baekhyun was dating, and I hope you all know I share your pain. Kris has left, Luhan has left, and Tao has left. Nevertheless I support EXO and Lay! I stand strong and have overcomed many obstacles. And I blame no one for leaving the fandom if they cannot handle it. It's different for everyone. Just because you leave doesn't mean that you are a horrible person; its just being human. Though like I said before, don't think that just because you are one of the many fangirls leaving, it won't hurt Kai or EXO. You may very well be their downfall. I am not saying this to hurt you but to let you all know that YOU HAVE VALUE! So don't be so down. 

Take some time to rest and distance, maybe even find refugee in another member. And from here on I'll add onto whats been going on since 2014.

I honestly have been through so much I don't even know where to start. BUT! Here is my attempt, though it can't even begin to really explain.

Chanyeol has overcome all my troubles and he is officially my bias. He continues to save me time and time and I have come to really love him. Through him I was able to smile once again, to feel like I am able to breathe and to finally learn what it is to be happy. Baekhyun has become my bias wrecker and time to time, as a bias wrecker's job he makes me almost doubt myself. But I don't. I love both of them very much. Baekhyun always makes me laugh but the one who makes me feel fluttery and warm and safe is Chanyeol. He never fails to encourage me on. Of course, the big puppy also makes me laugh. 

I do still feel a little guilty that I have changed bias but I want to stay true to myself and true to them. Though I have changed my bias I still love them all. Chanyeol has also become my ultimate bias and many know this too. I am not saying you should find refugee in another member but that it isn't wrong to. Many might even be against my thought but its not wrong to me because its not wrong to find comfort and move on. 

I continue to support all the members that left, and of course all the members that stayed. I love all of them as a whole and as an individual. Kris, Luhan, and Tao are all great people and I know it is hard for many fans to still find it hard to forgive them or understand them, but please love them, and at the least don't hate them. Some might not even want to see this but this is my thought. 

2016.04.04 12:22 PM