It hurts

I look happy. I smile all the time around you. I act cute and do aegyo and comfort everyone who comes to me for help. I don't mind it, I love helping and taking care of my friends. I'm so grateful for everyone who helps me. So I act happy. I smile. But can't the people around me see how close I am to crying? My friends who are supposed to care the most talk over my problems, they believe me when I pretend I'm fine. No one looks me in the eye and says I know you're hurting, what can I do?
Tears flicker in my eyes, and glass shards live in my heart. Every time I close my eyes he's there...in an Irish flag, a game of shut-the-box, a bird house. I'll never escape.
So I might do aegyo. I might pretend when people at my school make fun of my music it doesn't hurt. I might smile all the time and laugh. But I don't mean it. I'm hurting.

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midnightechos #1 Aug 4, 2014 06:32:47

Although I don't know what exactly is going on, if you need someone to talk to, I'm here for you.

Be strong and listen to whatever you want. Your life choices are up to you and (me speaking from my own experiences) when it finally clicks in you head that you should live your life for you, a feeling of peace and self-worth will seem to resonates within you.

You will get past this pain, and you will shine brightly once it's through.

<3

and plus, you've got all of us sending you virtual hugs. Hugs help heal the hurt a little. *hugs*

TopTopsAll #2 Aug 3, 2014 16:55:54

Awwww, I know the feel. We're all here for you! For comfort, support, anything you want or need!^^ *hugs* <3

akiazmi #3 Aug 3, 2014 09:53:23

I know how you feel.

There was this point of time last year where I would go to school every day, no matter how much I didn't want to, no matter how much I'd rather stay at home and bawl my eyes out. But I got up and went, tried to be cheerful, took countless of happy photos, made jokes, laugh some more. Everything feels okay. Everything feels like it's gonna be alright.

Until I reach home. I become a mess. Not even bothering to wash up, I hit my bed and spend the next few hours just sobbing into my pillow until I fell asleep. Slept until I had to wake up for school the next day. And the cycle repeats itself.

And that lasted for a month. It was really horrible.

But yknow what, I realised if you let get to you, it really does. But if you focus more on the parts of your life that are already working out, you'd feel lighter. The burden will still be there but it won't be as heavy if you pay less attention to it.

What I'm saying is, you'll be fine. You'll be alright even though you might think it will not be. And the only person who can truly make you happy is you yourself. Can't really depend on anyone to make you feel better. You just have yourself. So you'd have to make it work by yourself. It all depends on how you perceive your situation.

Chins up darling, you'll survive. I know you will ♡

kdramafan #4 Aug 3, 2014 05:27:50

Aww..
* send hugs** ..
You can alway come and talk to me if you ever need someone to lean on..
I might not be there for you in person .. But I can listen.....
You know where to find me ...:p
Stay strong .....