My First Love Story

a tribute to Tiffany Hwang, for her 25th birthday

She was 20 when I first saw her, five years ago, and I was 13. It was the first time I felt anything like this. I remember exactly where I was (upstairs in my parent's office), what I was wearing (jeans and a white Mickey Mouse tee), and my first reaction when I fell in love for the first time: Wow. 

As bad as the internet in Myanmar used to be back in those days, it was a miracle that the music video loaded-- or maybe it was fate. Earlier that day, my friend had told me in school to search up this song called "Gee". "It's so famous in Korea right now," she said. "If you want to become a KPop fan, you HAVE to watch it." So I thought, "alright, I'll watch it", and I did.

Uh huh, listen boy, my first love story.

And that was the beginning of my first love story. 

That one special member. That one unique smile-- the eyesmile. That single short line. Before I knew it, I have fallen in love with Tiffany Hwang. (maybe this doesn’t isn’t considered love, but it sure feels like it for me)

Over the years, I kept watching Tiffany-unnie. I excitedly waited for all her teaser images, stalked all her fantaken photos, listened for her parts in songs, and just fangirled over whatever she did. And through the years, I saw Tiffany mature, grow along with the other girls into a beautiful lady, and become even more perfect. Whenever I see her, I like her even more. 

I often wonder what it was that makes me like Tiffany more than the other eight members. Maybe it is because she can speak English? Maybe because she is the closest resemblance to me in terms of personality? Tiffany is not considered by the public as the prettiest member (she IS very very very pretty), the hottest member, the best singer, or the most variety-idol like. However, she is the kindest, friendliest member. And in my opinion, she is the most beautiful, not only because she’s pretty but also because of her lovely heart and amazing personality.

She taught me many things about life: to always give my best, no matter what I am doing; to be grateful of and to treasure what I have; to see love as something beautiful; and to view life in a more optimistic view. Her determination and courage is one of the many things that I admire most. Coming all alone to a foreign to pursue a dream isn’t something that anyone dares to do. She inspired me to become more than I ever thought I could be, drawing me out of the tight shell of shyness and doubt. Another perspective that I gained from her is to see things from the bright side. She said on the Chocolate Show that although her mother passed away when she was young, she was given eight other sisters. As selfish as this might sound, she made me realize the value of my mother and my friends, instead of taking them for granted. Liking her has shown me new horizons. It finally dawned on me that I never had male celebrity crushes and that I'm more attracted to the fairer gender. I discovered a part of who I am. Also, I learnt to find hope for a better tomorrow through the difficult times that I face. Just like Tiffany, I learnt to smile through good and bad. For all the life lessons that she has indirectly taught me and for shaping me into the person I am today, I have to thank Tiffany Hwang.

Of course, I do not know her in person, and the Tiffany Hwang I am talking about is the idol that we all see on TV and through eyes of other fans. But Tiffany Hwang, as I know her, is the one who I want to be. 

It has been five years, and many things have changed. Tiffany-unnie is now a lady, elegant (most of the time) and beautiful (always). She may now have a boyfriend, she may now be thinking of other careers to pursue, she may now no longer be the exact Tiffany that I fell in love with five years ago. But then again, I have changed as well, and so have my love for her, in order to continuing loving whoever she decideds to become. 

Many more tears have been shed, many more round of laughter, hugs shared, wonders created, dreams fulfilled (I've finally met you unnie! And twice!)... but there are things that haven't changed.

I still love Tiffany Hwang, I still ship JeTi, SNSD is still my favorite (and will always be)...

Tiffany is still part of SNSD, her smile still captivates people, her personality still melts people's hearts, she is still my definition of perfection (and will always be).

So for her birthday this year, just like for other years, I wish for the same things: I wish Tiffany would remain healthy, retain her glowing twinkle and her precious eyesmile at all times, feel laughter lift up her soul, be protected by the love of her family, members, friends, and fans, and may her all dreams be fulfilled like she has mine.

Even though in the past years, Jessica has climbed up my list to join Tiffany as my ultimate bias, I am still a fanytastic, always has been, and always will be because being a fanytastic is a what makes me me. Tiffany Hwang, I love you.