jan melie, read this. so so so creepy o-o

An Ending Grace

"It has more or less been eight years already if I recall it right. Graduation became synonymous with freedom and relief when I finally crossed that archaic arch by Espana. Almost everyone could possibly relate: relief from thesis, defense, and those countless, sleepless nights spent facing handouts filled with information that appear like hieroglyphs under procrastination, freedom from dealing with people who are likely fed up with you as well at the back of their heads, freedom from guilt and retribution from mischievous teenage misadventures. I could describe my memories in college more like traumatic than memorable since they are more likely to elicit a distorted expression than a smile upon my face every time I reminisce. Well, except for one memory though. And right, cliché as it sounds but a girl is involved. And thesis.
Graduate school and other science-related students would probably be aware of the existence of TARC and the difficulty of working inside its labs within a limited time especially if you’re an undergraduate. For the desperate, accomplishing their lab tasks until the last graduate student in-charge leaves would even drive them to performing “ninja moves” like stealthily bypassing the security and even disguising as a grad student or professor. Our thesis group was unfortunately among these desperate students turned ninjas by 10pm. Fortunately, we were not the only ones.
Our studies have required us to work on the upper floors, jumping from one lab to another to make use of specialized equipment housed in other departments. Most of the time, I was the one tasked to these jobs-for-the-patient like waiting on the autoclave or even the simple melting of materials in the microwave. It was one of those boring errand-boy moments when I met Grace.
The first time I saw her, I thought she was stress incarnate. Her long, black hair was tied into a ponytail but remained as disheveled as her lab gown and her eyeglasses concealed dark circles around her eyes. She was catching her breath when she entered the lab, her hands full of beakers and flasks. I was just there, standing in line, waiting for the person before me to finish with his thing.
DING!
Finally. The sound of the microwave. My turn. My thoughts of relief were disrupted by a tap on my shoulder. It was Ms. Stress Incarnate.
“Uh…excuse me po. Pwedeng pa-microwave?” She asked with a pleading smile. “Isa lang po, don’t worry. Ito lang talagang isa kasi kailangan na namin,” she continued while shoving a 250 mL flask at my face. “Mamaya ko pa isusunod yung iba.” She added, probably seeing me glance at her other glassware filled with who-knows-what.
“Uh…” I stuttered.
“Sige na please. Please. Please. Please. 30 seconds lang.” She continued pleading with a smile.
“Ok, then,” I finally replied. “Pero ‘yan lang muna talagang isa ha.” I said looking at her, now beaming at my reply.
“Yes! Thank you po!” She exclaimed then hurriedly placed the beaker in the microwave. Thirty seconds passed and she dropped another “thank you” before rushing out the lab. By the time she was back, I already had my own beaker in the microwave. I still had a few minutes. I had a small tray with me back then. Four flasks were still in line.
“Bilis ah…” I jokingly commented when she reentered the lab with a sigh.
“Siyempre naman. Madami pa kaming gagawin eh. Hanggang mga 10 pa siguro kami.” She replied with her unfading smile.
“Apir!” I exclaimed approaching her while raising my palm for a high-five. “May karamay pala kami.” I added chuckling at her. She raised her own palm and gave me a high-five just in time when the microwave sounded. I then attended to it and placed my next glassware. I turned my back on the equipment, leaned on the counter, and heaved a sigh.
“Stressed, kuya?” My newly met acquaintance asked.
“Medyo,” I replied not looking at her. I closed my eyes and massaged the space between my brows. “Ano ulit name mo?” I asked still pressing on my forehead.
“Ah, Grace po.” She replied.
“Ano ka, grasya galing kay Lord?” I asked jokingly. She only giggled back.
Our conversation went on from there and her impression of a stressed out student eventually disappeared from my sight as she kept beaming with optimism despite her obvious fatigue. I never imagined from that moment that my heart would end up melting for Grace in the next days as all the agar media I’ve melted that night of our first encounter. By the time, I finished using the microwave, Grace and I already knew at what labs each of us worked in and from what colleges and sections we came from. I had to wait for another encounter ‘til I could ask for her number.
Months passed and I’ve discovered more about Grace. I’ve learned that she boards alone in a dorm at Dapitan, that she occasionally wears contact lens, that she’s actually pretty when the days are kind enough to give her a break from lab or school work, and that she has a habit of passing by the chapel to pray even if it’s out of her way home. Since we both work late in our own theses, I’ve eventually decided to make it my duty to walk her home. It wasn’t much of a trouble for me since I just live in P. Noval myself. My feelings for her gradually developed until desires to hold her hand, caress her hair, and even kiss her, slowly sprung in my heart. I was falling for her and the fact that graduation was nearing made me more nervous and frustrated. I had to make my moves sooner or later. I needed a perfect timing, the perfect setting, just she and I and the honest expression of my withheld emotions. And so one night, just a week after our thesis defenses, I thought I’d accompany her from her prayer habit at the chapel and reach out my feelings to her when I walk her home. We’ve just gone out of the church bringing with us plastic bags heavy with excess materials from the lab when it suddenly poured as if encouraging me further to pour out my feelings for Grace. Grace put out her umbrella while I put on a transparent raincoat similar with what the security wears on rainy days. We walked through the pass bisecting the botanical garden and made our way for the shortcut pass near the Pharmacy labs and TARC. We have just passed by the statues near the high school canteen when the lights went off. We stopped at our tracks and fell quiet. I felt Grace inching towards my side.
“Wait, mahina mata ko, pwede pakapit?” she asked whispering to my ear. “Tsaka kasi ‘di ba inaayos yung drainage malapit dun sa shortcut, baka mahulog ako.” she continued.
“Sus, sabihin mo takot ka lang sa dilim,” I teased back. “O, asan na kamay mo? Akin na nga. Dapat pala may walking stick ka eh. Pano na yan, baka ako naman mahulog sa'yo dahil dito.” I replied joking as I snatched her shivering hand with my own trembling palm. She only giggled and I knew from that moment that this was the hand I would love to hold for the rest of my life.
The two of us felt our way slowly through the darkness as the rain continued to pour heavily. Grace told me how weird she finds such weather on a February. I couldn’t care less about the bad weather though. I had my own storm inside me. My heart started to race. And just like the unstoppable downpour drowning the earth that night, the dam of my feelings finally broke into a deluge. I grabbed Grace’s hand tighter and pushed her towards a narrow space along the shortcut pass to TARC.
“Uy, anong biro na naman ba ito?” She asked as if anticipating a joke any second from now. 
“Nabitawan ko pa tuloy yung payong ko,” she added.
“Grace, kasi…” I paused holding her hand tighter. The narrow space was so small, I could kiss her if I dared. I slowly placed my other hand on her cheek and led my fingers towards the back of her head, slid it down to her neck then shoulder, then back to her neck. I could feel her hand trembling from my grasp. I inched closer so she is now against the wall. And then, with one of my hands resting by her neck, I started to choke her.
Grace’s reactions were too late; the panic, the disbelief. It was my dominant hand holding her neck and my built was far bigger than hers; I overpowered her without effort. Her tight grip on my hand eventually relaxed. Her tensioned body finally leaned sluggishly against the wall, pressed by my aroused flesh. The rain and darkness continued to be my accomplice. I slowly laid down Grace’s body on the wet ground. There was no room for complicated positions so I just went on top of her. I put out the meat cleaver I concealed using sheets of the University’s newspaper. I started chopping off her arms by her elbow joints and placed them inside a small garbage bag. I lifted her chin and decapitated her with a couple of blows. Blood splattered everywhere but I remained calm knowing that the site I chose was most strategic. Rainwater from the other end of the area rinsed my crime scene instantly and rush towards the several holes on the cemented ground at the mouth of the narrow pass leading to the drains. I decided to only keep Grace’s arms and head. I continued chopping the body until they resembled the beef cuts for sale one sees in the supermarket.
After I’ve wrapped my trophies properly with another plastic bag, I placed them in an eco-bag and slid it in my drenched backpack. I collected the other chopped parts and walked towards the open drainage at the end of the shortcut. Several sacks filled with trash collected from the drainage were stacked on top of each other. Most of the sacks were untied. I went back and forth from the narrow pass to the sacks, shoving in the hacked pieces of Grace among the stinking waste. I tied the sacks myself and got the staining dyes from my plastic bag. I had two amber bottles of malachite green and safranin. I opened both bottles and splashed the dyes by the perimeters of my crime scene. I then broke their glass containers and spread the shards as well, painting a picture as if some dyes accidentally spread around the area. This was to mask any stray bloodstain that the rain would fail to wash away. As if the impeding a flood is still not enough to hide my traces. I returned to the narrow pass and gathered Grace’s things and mine. I picked up her umbrella and faced the torrential rain as if nothing happened. I reached the front of TARC and looked back at the darkness behind me. Unfortunately, the power was still down and I couldn’t check how neat I actually left the site.
I continued walking until I reached the Dapitan gate. The guard saw me and pointed out my messy state.
“Boy, ba’t andito ka pa? Pasado alas diyes na ah, sa’n ka ba galing? Tsaka ano yang makulay sa damit mo?” the guard showered me with inquiries as he surveyed me with his flashlight.
“Galing po ako ng simbahan,” I shouted in reply competing to the rain’s angry splattering.
“Bigla pong namatay yung ilaw kanina tapos nadapa po ako. Nabasag po tuloy tapos kumalat yung staining dyes namin,” I continued explaining while I raised my plastic bag still containing several amber bottles and other lab materials.
“O sige, mag-ingat ka na lang at bumabaha na.” the guard said as he opened the gate for me.
“Sige po, salamat! Ingat din po kayo,” I replied as I waded through the flood.
The rain did not stop even after I left the campus. Exiting at Dapitan slowed me to my way to my apartment at P. Noval. The flood rising up to my knees added to my delay. In the end, I reached my place safely. I took a long shower and immediately drank doxycycline. I threw myself on my couch and noticed my drenched backpack on the floor. I grabbed it and put out Grace’s arms and head. I ignored the blood droplets that stained the tiled floor. I positioned Grace’s hand to hold mine while I put her head on my lap to pet her hair. It was the first night in my entire college life that I spent warmly despite a rainy weather.
Now, as I typed this while listening to the news about typhoon Glenda, I couldn't help going back to that night with Grace at the narrow pass. She was literally and figuratively a grace from God to me. She taught me that college is just like any flood; it will subside. No matter how harsh the weather may be, the sun would shine back in the end. Just look at me. I still graduated despite everything that happened."

Proud Graduate 
2006 
College of Science