I Can't Even Say "I Love You" To My Parent .
Is there anyone who facing the same problem as me ?
I wonder why I can't even say "I love you" to my parent .
Yes , Yes , Yes I love them but I don't have any courage to say something simple like "I love you" or "I care about you"
I don't know why but I always pretended to be strong and stubborn in front of them.
I can't show my weak side infront of them .
Because of I pretended to be strong they really really really thought that I'm strong .
They even thought that when they say something hurtful to me about my dream I still can stand by my ownself ?
Are they kidding me ?
We loved each other but we hated each other .
My parent word seriously leave deep impression to me .
And yeah , again I still pretended that I am strong .
I always make them sad , but here I am standing like hard rock and pretend that nothing happen .
I just want to make my dream come true .
I just want to be what I want to be for my future happiness but because of my decision ,
I'm burning my happiness with my parent right now .
But they still stand beside me and support me with they hurtful word .
I don't know how to express my feeling right now.
Sad? Happy? Angry? Disappointed?
Everytime I make them sad .
They pretend to be like nothing happen and they act to feel better after letting out a deep sigh .
I can see their invisible tears.
They don’t cry over their scarred heart with the painful wounds.
I made those scars but why do I keep blaming them?
And their eyes showed that their are tired .
But they hid it, such a liar.
Am I just made a wrong decision to go and chase for my dream ?
I just don't want to be what they want me to be .
I want to be me .
I haven’t done anything for my parent, I haven’t given anything to them .
These are the words I wanted to say so much,
" I love you forever Mom and Dad . Now I will embrace you, you can lean on me from now on."
But I don't have any courage .
They are so close but so unapproachable
They must have been lonelier than anyone else but I didn’t approach them .
I wanted to just cry, I wanted to cry in their arms.
Because my gratitude toward them was so sad .
But I don't have any courage to open my heart .
________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
.
Ignore my spelling or grammar mistake or whatsoever ..
Comments