in my class, i can be considered as a , but a friendly one. because my attitude is kind of rebellious (skipping classes, sleep in classes, never send in completed assignments, never join any class projects, etc) but my social life isn't that bad, my classmates don't really dispiss me (at least i think so) but yea, they're awkward around me. probably because i use to wear poker face. but jokes come out from me whenever i open my mouth and the mood will lighten up. because i may look cold but my best friend knows how crazy can i be.

so, there's a girl in my class, her name (short name) is Mai, but our classmates used to call her "Joyah", it's a famous call commonly given to annoying female. she always speak in high pitched voice, probably the reason people think she's annoying. boys are totally dispissed her, openly insulting her while the girls befriend with her, but badmouthing behind her.

when i hang around with my classmates, they'll talk about her and i will just shut my mouth. because i don't really talk to Mai (yes, i call her Mai instead of "Joyah". because she'd never annoy me). but i really feel sorry for her. she seems so lonely since her one and only friend (that was seen with her since the last few years) had transfered school. my classmates said "she only see us when her best friend was gone!"

then recently, her table is moved to the place right in front of mine and my best friend's. beside her is one of my best friend, a Chinese girl called Yi Mei. she's very friendly with everyone (but she secretly hates my classmates. too much diva-ish, according to her, i agreed) and she befriend with Mai.

there was one time, a boy who once had a crush on Yi Mei said "my Yi Mei was ruined by Joyah" and the Chinese girl glared at him while Mai looked down. i used to have good impression on the boy, but when i heard him, i gave him a disappointed face and he just shut up.

so today, Yi Mei was absent and Mai was alone. i was talking with my best friend like usual, when Mai decided to talk to us. you know, actually she's really fun to chat with. we even have the same interest (baking). it's like everything she said had a point. while we're talking and laughing, i noticed my classmates were watching, but i ignored. i don't care if she just talk to me because she had no choice, i got my own best friends, and she was alone, it didn't hurt if i hangout with her. if she leave me one day, i still have my best friends.

actually, i don't really like my classmates to begin with. i'm in the first class (which i don't know how i manage to be there) and the students are so..... you know, geeks? nerdy? no, diva-ish. i thought those were only in dramas, where students only see reputation and academics, but it does exist in my school.

i won't befriend with someone i don't like. i won't say any words because i'm scared i may hurt them, but then i will be the one who's being fake, therefore i decide to not care. i smile if they smile to me, i approach if they did first, i help if they really need. but they're not the type of friends to be taken for hangouts. am i guilty??

sometimes i think ignoring is much better than bothering about things that won't hurt you if you just ignore it. because for me, the more you care about something, the more stupidity comes out. am i wrong??