Many of you may know me as the college student writer Peporo who usually goes by the name Shimo to my close friends here on AFF. What yo don't know is that I'm probably the most awkward person out there /// facapalm. 

Ever since I was little, boys overwhelm me. Actually I was a boy-crazy girl - funny right? But I can't hold a conversation with an attractive one for long, not at all. I'm not exactly self-concious or anything. Not insecure and introverted either. 

I'm just awkward. 

When boys talk to me I can't look at them in the face and I look away. I laugh fakely and then my voice fades off as if I don't want to converse anymore. BUT THAT'S NEVER REALLY THE CASE. >.< I just have nothing else to say, you know. 

And you would think I'm good with words too - I major in Creative Writing. And in a way it isn't like I'm not. 

I'm GREAT at texting... 

Just, when verbal communicating is concerned, I'm the worst. 

Now, you may thinking where this is all coming from and why you should care. Right? 

Well, for one, you don't have to care and I don't blame you even one percent if you don't.

But this all just splurt out of me when my boyfriend told me yesterday that we don't talk about much. We repeat the same things over and over again. He told me it's been on his mind for a long time and he just can't get over that fact. And then he broke up with me. 

*sigh* 

I'm not exactly that heartbroken, don't worry. 

It's just that this incident got me thinking as well. Had he broken up with me because I was a bad kisser or even because he'd found a much prettier girl, I would've simply cried and ate a few hundred chocolate bars with almonds. 

But no. 

He had to go and tell me that I was bad at talking and communicating when I've known the same godamn thing my whole entire life. UGH. I wish I wasn't so awkward. 

I want to be one of those girls who are witty and mysterious and not clumsy and unable to hold a conversation. 

... 

I don't know where I am going with this blog post. 

For anyone who's even reading up till here, thanks. I'm gonna go eat some almond choco bars anyways kay. 

Who needs boys when I can get diabetes?