Bleeding Fairy tale
I know this is so sudden but I can't help it. I can't.
I miss him. I miss him a lot and I can't stop. Ugh. I can't. I just can't.
How the hell did I still miss him after all of those fudging years?!
Wake up you dumb it's been 7 years! You haven't seen him in 7 fudging years!
Okay. I did see him again in 2011. But not even more than a half hour.
Ugh. He even give you his number! Where the hell did you threw that thing? Why the bloody hell did you threw it in the first place? What were you thinking? Ohmygod I know that I'm so utterly stupid at times I just don't want to admit it but this, certified it all!
So now what are you going to do about it? What are you going to do with your ed up mind and torturous feelings and stuff? He's long gone- probably even married and got child (ohgod what if he really had a child?) and he totally forgets everything about you?
it's been a really long time. Someone bounds to forget. Sooner or later.
"Because that's what time do. It takes what mostly precious to you. First the insignificant ones and then the significant one. And by the time you realize that something is missing, it will be already too late."
I just wished that time did the same thing for me.
Ugh why didn't I just let him go? He's probably happy with his life right now- no, I'm damn sure he's happy with his life now, I mean he deserves it obviously because knowing him, he's working his off to achieve his dream- and most certainly not aware of a kid who's fussing over her feelings for him.
Even if he do, what is he going to do about it huh? Running back to you and said that he still loves you and hugs you like never want to let go and then probably happily ever after? Are you perhaps writing a fairy tale of something? Fairy tales are like fake bullets; something that people with immense idealistic imagination created.
Unfortunately I bleed.
That's it. I'm an idiot.
Things are not going to be the same. Face it.
But can I just like be selfish and wished that he was suffering like I do and misses me too and probably lying on his bed, with his arm on his forehead, wondering how I was feeling, whether or not I was okay, if I ever manage to study English further, if I still like vanilla and despise strawberry or whether I'm capable of crossing the streets on my own or not... Just, can I?
I just want to know. If he still hold onto me like I hold onto him. If he had inside of him, just a little fragment of me. And maybe we can have our own fairy tale? But that would hurt him too right?
Oh forget it. I'm sure he let it pass eons ago. I mean, pfft, what am I? A goddess or something? Why would he in any way would stay in love with me?
I'm just a kid. A stupid over exaggerating immature freakingly creepy- not to mention short- kid. Whaaaaaaaa, I'm pathetic.
And after all that I've typed here, why I still didn't feel any better? *sobs*
Why can't I let him go? And why does this hurt so much oh my god does anyone wants a donor because I want to donate my heart or something please just take it away I don't wanna keep it any more and leave my soul be.
I think I need help. Someone call the doctor! (ohmygod I never thought I'm in the same situation in Overdose! That last chorus just hit me like a train in a full speed and I don't think that's good, right?)
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