i actually have it all planned out. what my dress would be, what my bed will be, how i will be handled after the ceremony is over.

and i have all the expenses computed out.

the only thing that's stopping me from carrying out my plans is my refusal to die.

i even have that letter thing going on

it's just hopeless. i mean i write something and i think that i'll be okay

but i'm not

it's.

hard.

to breathe.

i wish i couldn't