My ex-boyfriend/close friend idk what i feel anymore.

We broke up because he was being a bastard.... he apologized to me so many times after.... For almost a month I avoided him.

I remember I would always find my eyes wandering around a crowd to look for the familiar sight of him but then when i catch him staring at me I just look away....

My friends were mad at him as well.For a while I told myself that he doesn't exist but..... it was difficult because I would always look for him.

Today I had a field trip. A few days before we started talking like we used to. We acted how we used to when we were in 3rd grade.... sharing food with only each other , playful and y jokes here and there....

I miss him... When we broke up, I stopped talking to him and ignored him. When he realized what he did had hurt me he kept on apologizing. He even had my friend tell me his apology...I honestly wanted to talk with him again.... I wanted to apologize.I wanted to tell him I was sorry too....

I wanted to tell him that I was at fault too....

I wanted to tell him that I forgive him....

Although I already did, I didn't tell him that I missed him.

I forgave him because I know what he's like.

I forgave him because I still wanted him in my life.

Ughhhh, oh gosh.... i dont even know what to think or feel anymore....