I've had big dreams that can't come true anymore because I essed up my own stupid life,
I go from worse to worser (?) yeah my english is crappy too
I think everyone who has been reading my other posts must think i'm a very negatieve person,
maybe I am....

I'm negatieve, lonely, stupid and all other bad things you can come up with,
I made the wrongest choices a person could ever made,

I didn't know living with my mom, stepfather, 3 sisters and stepbrother could be so good,
I miss it so much, I thought I had an aweful life living with them, but even through everyone says I look better,
I don't feel better, I started to life with my boyfriend and then you start to know a person,

I wished I could go home, but I can't, I can't leave,

I feel like a prisoner,

why did I even made those choices, 

Even through he 'gives' me everything I ask for, 
I can't go out, I can't see my friends, i'm not allowed to go to work to earn my own money, 
I need to do everything he says and I can't say a word or he gets mad,

I hated my life so much now,

when I still lived at home I dreamed about studying aboard, I wanted to life in Korea so badly but I knew I could make it true,

Now i'm here and I feel like i'm stuck, like I don't have a future anymore, or not the future I want to have,

I feel like it's impossible to go to Korea now,

Everyday I feel more worse and the hardest thing is, 

everytime i'm with my familie they say I look better and happier, the thing is.......i'm not