Okay so I am writing this because I really don't know why. Perhaps I got some sense knocked into me as the wind was blown away from me at the same time.

Sorry if I don't really make sense I'm just pouring out everything.

So a lot of people might probably know that today is EXO's Comeback Showcase... You see before I became a fan of this said group I was introduced to SHINee and DBSK first and of course Super Junior came in later on. I liked SHINee because they were really amusing and I found them cool. And then someone introduced me to DBSK but I couldn't quite grasp them as a group because when I started to know them only Yunho and Changmin were left. I researched about DB5K and I really liked their japanese ballads a lot. But I didn't feel the same feelings that I got from hearing them as 5 to hearing them as 3 or 2. It felt really heartbreaking. So Super Junior came along and I enjoyed watching their shows. Of course I liked their music too but that was just as far as it went. I had no official fandom that I really stan and I was just in it for the music and the shows. And then I saw the EXO teasers. I watched Kai's, Kai and Luhan and Tao's. After that I grew bored because there really was a  lot of teasers and I felt SM was being a total jackass again. *sorry during this time I was still pissed ing mad  at SM for the JYJ/TVXQ split, and various reasons like where did all your artists' money go? how much are you spending on this new group of yours? how bout your other artists?* 

Fast forward to What Is Love I decided to give EXO a try and I liked them. I watched their showcase, their guestings on variety shows, the mvs and yes the stupid overspent and produced teasers, etc. I bought a kpop album for the first time too. I fell in love with them. I thought to myself I think I finally found my fandom. 

   BUT THINGS JUST GOT MESSY OF COURSE. 

 -EXO had a lot of sasaengs and had caused various accidents  mishappenings with the idols and the other fans themselves

 -People refer to EXO fans as the worst fandom full of immature people

 -SM is being unfair to theirr artists f(x) because of EXO (ALMOST ALL OF THE BLAME GOES TO THEM  most of the comments I read are like that <<<)

 -EXO is the next Super Junior  and lots of comparisons with their sunbaes like this twitter trend Kai EXO or Taemin SHINEE plus the harsh comments RYEOWOOK got during Kiss the Radio was not nice coming from EXO fans

You know it hurts me to see that things are like this. I didn't think things would be like this. I love seeing Cassies and ELFs together so I thought that I'd be in a fandom that's also like that. Peaceful fandoms supporting each other. Their idols have the sunbae -hoobae relationship and so do they. They RESPECT each other. Shawols are also so damn lucky because their idols treat them really well *DID ANY OF YOU SEE ONEW SITTING SO CLOSE AND CHATTING WITH THE FANS? IMAGINE IF THAT WAS EXO. THAT'D BE IMPOSSIBLE.*  And then there are the airport incidents injuries, mass amount of fans crowding them, etc. etc. 

 

I feel so sad, mad, and plain useless. I'm just another fan...

Seeing those artists smile, perform and love their fans when half of their fans treat them like I feel embarrassed to say they are my fellow fans. And then here I am just another fan, an international fan and I can't do anything for them. It hurts me. 

Then my memory hit me too hard. .

Singers are just a seasonal act especially idols. 

This was from a korean movie I watched... pretty sad isn't it?t