If you’re not a Gyustan, i.e. someone who’s been brainwashed by who has an inordinate affection for Infinite’s dearest leader, then you probably have more than a few questions about the mania. The key question probably being: “This guy?”

Now, before you ask, yes, we know. (And by we, I mean, me and all the other misguided followers of the cutie commander).

We know, trust us—we know.

How best to explain it? Well…If you’ve ever suffered from a particularly bad cold, have you ever had one of those moments where your nose stops running, your cough comes to a halt, and your head feels like it’s left the fog? Just that odd, tiny millisecond when you feel back to normal? Uh huh, yeah, we Gyustans get that too, sometimes, and in those briefest of interludes, we see the Gyu for who he is. We fully acknowledge that he is a dork, a weakling, and, yes, indeed, he can look a bit like the love of Pucca’s life, Garu.

(Who am I kidding? He looks like Pucca with her pigtails chopped off.)

Trust me. We see it. We know.

It never lasts, though.

See, his little hamster claws, they carry with them some strange, slow-acting, highly effective venom. Oh, it doesn’t kill you or anything like that (although you may lose the use of your ovaries), but it does distort your perception.

How so? It’s kind of hard to explain.

Okay, when you look at a photo of Kim Sunggyu, this is what you see:

That’s not what a Gyustan sees, however. This is what we see:

Yes, the color literally leaches out of the world, leaving only our most beloved cocky grandpa in vivid, vibrant Technicolor. And even that is not accurate, because for us, it’s like he’s always surrounded by this ethereal glow…

Ah, yes, like that. Only brighter and possibly filled with butterflies and flower petals. And miniature unicorns.

And you know what? I’ve noticed that most photographers are just as Gyu-biased as I am! I mean, I’ve been really hard-pressed to find proper pictures of the other six members.

Isn’t this dance a group dance? Why is Gyu all alone there at center stage?

Look at that poor bibimbaby sleeping there. Photographer should’ve found a member who was awake to take a picture of, don’t you think? I bet he/she could’ve gotten a really cute shot!

Wook at those sweet wittle wips! Who are you waiting for, cutie? Feeling lonely?

Flawless profile. Bet he could give the visual a run for his money, if L-nim was anywhere nearby.

Uh, photographer-nim…far be it from me, someone who has can’t even take a decent selca to criticize you, but…it might’ve been nice if our dear leader had been in focus. Although it’s nice that you still shared this with all of us. Even a blurry picture can’t hide Gyu’s natural hotness! Who can challenge his unf quotient? WHO, I ASK YOU?

This appears to be recurring theme, though. It seems to me that the love of the Gyu is such that photographers don’t even mind when they can’t get a decent shot of him. They’ll take what they can get.

The back of his (perfect, perfect) head…

That fantastic profile, of course…

Omo, even just that heart-melting smile! Like a crescent moon! Almost as beautiful as a full moon...

Ahh, but who can blame them, right? That Gyu-venom is some potent stuff. Yes, it may lead them to focus a bit more on the salamander general than the other handsome, talented Infinite members, but I’m sure they are professional enough to overcome this obstacle and take a goodly amount of pictures of the dongsaengs.

That snap of Gyu walking towards the camera all broody and hamstery isn’t it, but those shots of the others are probably somewhere…

(Just don’t ask a Gyustan to locate them.)

This post approved by Kim “Shine is a song off my solo album and what I do” Sunggyu.

*Picture credits to their owners