summer break up [completed]
Summer break had begun. Our break up day. The day I wished it didn't exist. I'm still stuck in my room, wrapping the whole body with a comforter - hugging my knees - and letting my phone on the desk rang.
"I don't want to break up." I mumbled as tears flooded in my eyes.
"I LOVE YOU."
I should had declined the game he was offering. His words of offering the game were still echoing inside my head.
"Cha In Ju. Let's play a game."
At first, I thought of it as a joke, so I laughed, but the look on him accused me that he was not joking. He was known for his ego, but offering the game was a surprising thing that he had ever did. And something about him made me agreed playing the game. A game between Kingka and Queenka - the two enemies. And no one knew except us.
The rules? Simple. One, treat each other like a couple. Two, the game is over in summer. And three, the first to fall in love was a loser.
But the rules were meant to be broken. It was a game over for me. I fell in love with him - the Ego Kingka.
Jongin - I got to call him. He was known as 'Kai' because he didn't prefer people calling his real name. He called me by my name as a beginner, but then he changed to a more cute nickname. He will tease me for my tomato red cheeks when he called by the nicknames.
He held my hands when we hung out together - patted on the top of my crown, hugged me - and even kissed my cheeks. It was a little awkward at first, but I began to get used of it. Butterflies were fluttering in my tummy whenever he touched me. I tried to tell myself that those skinships were for game, but my heart denied it. It raced like crazy and told that it was LOVE.
I discovered a new side of him through his dances. His dances told me the soft and warm side of him. He would show me his dances when I hung around his practice room, but he danced when he got stressed out and needed to and the calm look on him told the story of his life.
He used to sing as I knew. But after getting through puberty, he didn't sing anymore and inclined more in dancing. When I assured him to sing for me, he declined. But after getting coaxed, he ended up singing with his husky deep voice. His voice of singing was telling me to hear more. And his singing was becoming familiar.
I spared most of my time for him. For the game actually, but my heart kept telling that I wanted to be with him badly. Like the game's rule number one, we trusted and explored each other deeply. The aegyo side of him, the humorous side of him, the moody side of him and each side of him amazed me. Was he getting things harder for the break up day? Or just me, cannot let go of him?
---
My phone kept ringing and I got annoyed of it, so I picked up the phone - looking at the caller's ID - even though I knew it was him. I deliberately idled the call to scrutinize the photo that I set for Jongin's call. I answered the call then recorded it. Lately, I recorded all his calls for my remembrance.
"Sunshine! What took you so long to pick up my call?"
"Sorry... I've just took a bath." I pouted and forced a chuckle while my heart ached.
"Ready for today? I'll pick you up at 12." Jongin cherished his voice through the phone.
"Ok, I'm all set." I lied him.
"Jinja? Then open the door. I'm outside your house."
My eyes widened and my legs told me that I needed to check, so I stood from my bed and headed for the window. "Jeongmal-yo?" The word came out spontaneously as my hand slid the curtain to peek.
"Of course not, you silly! I'm just about to feed my kids." I knuckled my head as the word 'pabo' managed to come out.
He referred his dogs as his kids. Ah, how I missed them so much.
"Do you wanna talk to Janggu?" He asked. Janggu, the younger sibling of Monggu. I used to hang around his house and meet his family and kids. I was surely missed them a lot since we didn't hang around his house anymore. Meeting Jongin's parents and sisters made me felt weird about his attitude at school. His sisters were just lovely, not like him - the Ego King. His dogs - Janggu, Monggu and Janggah - were truly cute and playful. His dogs were also one of his happiness.
I gave him a 'yes' signal, sending him to call for Janggu. I could hear him through the phone and I bet he ran to get Janggu on call. As I thought he had gotten Janggu to the line, I heard cheerful barks from him. I plastered a smile while Jongin complained about his phone gotten by Janggu.
"He says he missed you and he's gonna miss you." My smile faded as soon I heard him spoke. There was no more joking and cherish voice. Before I can realized, my eyes began to sting and tears were bursting out.
Was this gonna be the last phone call? I'm gonna miss him...
"In Ju?" I shed away the silent tears as he broke the silence between us.'
"Yeah. Tell him that I'm gonna miss him too." The two of us knew the day to brig us apart had come, but we can't declined our promise. Promise was still a promise.
"Okay, meet you at 12."
"Yeah."
A simple goodbye. No more jokes that will long the conversation. No more romantic goodbye by him. This gonna be a tough day for the two of us.
---
I shut the door behind me to be greeted by a new polished car with a figure leaning against it. I walked up to him and greeted him a warm smile. "Hey."
Jongin looked up as he curved a smile. He raised a hand and reached for my waist. He pulled me into his embrace then whispered through my hair, "Ready for today?"
Jongin raised his head a little to have a look at me. I plastered on a fake smile and murmured a 'yes' with half-breathe, half-voice.
His eye bags formed under his eyes showed that he was upset about today even he formed a toothy smile. He pulled me into the mention car and drove the car into the town.
"Where are we going?"
"Anywhere would do." I glanced at him with a smile.
"How about movie?"
"Okay."
The journey to the cinema was filled most with exchanging glances and no more jokes and stories to be told.
-----
The day of the first summer had come to the end - meaning our break up will be near. We spent the night on a threadbare bridge before departing on our own ways.
The seconds came to minutes. The breeze blew past both us as none of us was willing to take the further step.
"In Ju." Jongin spoke first - breaking the ice between us. His voice was getting into my nerves as he called my name.
I guessed, he wanted to be first to bid farewell? 'Don't go', my heart whispered.
Jongin kept opening and closing his mouth as he had something to say, but nothing came out from his mouth. Even though I knew what was going to come out from his mouth, still, I hope 0.001% of my expectation came true. He rubbed his nape before opening his mouth again to speak.
"In Ju... Let's break up."
Though I knew the words he was going to say, my heart still broke into pieces at the words he managed to pronounce.
I looked down - staring at my own feet - as he walked past me as if he gonna walked away from my life. I whimpered quietly as tears were bursting down my cheeks.
"Jongin." I lift my head and his name came spontaneously out from my mouth and I didn't even know what courage made me called for him.
I can hear the footsteps stopped and the latter turned to me. "Stop calling me that. It's over between us."
Ego began to invade him. He wasn't the warm Jongin anymore. He was now Kai - 'The Great Kingka'. But still, I can't deny my feelings for him.
I tilted my head down again as embarrassment invaded over myself, but I began gathering the strength before mouthing the three magical words. I wonder why it was called 'magical' since it won't work on me.
"I love you." I closed my eyes as the words managed to come out my mouth.
I heard footsteps approaching. I slightly opened my eyes to have him poked on my forehead. He gave me an annoyed look as he whispered into my ears, "you've lost."
He left the threadbare bridge and the sounds of his footsteps echoed around me as I though it would be the last meeting between us.
----
The summer had ended and I filled most of summer with whimpering and sticking in my room. My thoughts were full of how would he treated me at school. And how awkward would it be to avoid ourselves.
I slipped into the school uniform and buttoned it up. Once, I glanced to my phone - waiting for him to call like he used to do every morning. He didn't call since the break up though. I held my phone with the chain that Jongin gifted on our last date, unchained it then threw it harshly in the dustbin.
----
The initial thing I did when entered the class was looking for the latter - Jongin - but there was no sign of him around. I sat back at my seat until a brunette greeted. "Hey, love bird, where is your boyfriend?"
I replied her with a forced smile and chuckled at the nickname. The nickname of 'love birds' was given as we - Jongin and I - used to hang around together. Right, people didn't know about our break up - about our game. As I opened my mouth to reply to her question, which will be a lie, been distracted by our homeroom teacher, Ms Park, entering the class.
"Good morning, students. I had a bad news for you."
Frowns were shown on every of my classmates and whispers began to be heard across the room. I turned to Jongin's seat to expect he was there, but he didn't show up for homeroom. I looked up to Ms Park with a question look. 'Did it have to be 'bout Jongin? I hope not,' my thoughts tangled and the concern look on Ms Park gave me a concern that it was gonna be about Jongin.
"Listen, class." Ms Park's voice dismissed the whispers and all students were darting their eyes on her.
"Jongin is moving. His family is moving for New York today."
My eyes widened and I could hear the whispers among my classmates and a shake at my chair distracted me from my thoughts. I turned my head to have every eyes were on me. They looked... Concerned.
"Do you know about this?"
My body shivered and my eyes stung at the latter's question. I tilted my head down. It was hard to face them. "You know?"
I shook my head with a word 'no' followed by 'I don't know anything'. The tears I was holding dropped down my cheeks.
"They're moving today, right? Hey, In Ju, go meet him!" A voice exclaimed as Ms Park was starting her lesson.
My body paralyzed and didn't move. But the sudden voice exclaimed made me tilted my head up. "Ms Park, can I bring In Ju to the nurse? She didn't look good."Ms Park nodded then the claim of the voice dragged me out of the class.
When we reached the hallway, she patted my back then spoke, "good luck, In Ju! Tell him that we'll miss his cheeziness!"
"Umm... what? You're just getting me out of class?" I asked dumbly.
"Yeah. And say hi to him for me!" The brunette ran back to our class as I took the day off and headed toward Jongin's house.
-----
The bus stop at the nearby bus stop and I ended running to Jongin's. I rang the bell and knocked the gate of the mansion-like house. I kept on ringing and knocking the gate, but no one seemed to be at home. As I gave up on ringing and knocking, I leant against the gate and sighed.
"Who are you looking for, young lady?" I searched for the voice and saw an old lady next-door was peeking out of her gate.
"I'm looking for the Kim's family."
She opened "Ah, the Kims. They had moved out. And this house is on sell." The moment the old lady exclaimed, my heart cried.
"When did the leave?" I chose to ask.
The woman glanced at her watch then at me again. "About 30 minutes ago."
30 minutes ago? If only I was faster to catch up.... If only I was faster to bid him forever.... If only I....
"Who are you, young lady?"
"I'm the Kims' son's friend, Cha In Ju." I bowed at the lady - showing respect.
"Cha In Ju? Wait a minute." The woman went inside her house back then came out with a box. She handed it to me the box of a palm size.
I looked at her numbly. Puzzled with have now in my hands. I shot a gaze at the woman and she curved a smile. "The son gave this box to me to be handed to the name 'Cha In Ju' if she came. He apologized that he didn't have time to meet you. Here. He handed this letter with the box."
My tilted head lifted up when she said there was a letter came along with the box. I took the letter from her grip and slightly tore the envelope. The woman had went back in her house after bidding goodbye.
I read the fully hand-written carefully and my eyes stung. Tears were rolling down my cheeks as I read the three magical words - I LOVE YOU. I opened the box with the last gift from him. It was a recorder. I slightly the recorder. The voice that I longed so much. He tried to cherished himself during recording.
"In Ju-ah, even after we break up, please be happy. I don't want my sunshine to fade her lights. Be strong, okay? You must eat healthy food, okay? Do I look awkward?" I smiled at his awkwardness. He filmed this before our break-up. He already knew about the moving, but didn't tell anyone even at me.
"One last thing. CHA. IN. JU. I-I...." His cheeks began to rose into red.
"I-I l-love you... I love you, In Ju... Oh my God! I'm so embarrassed! I love you, In Ju... Sorry."
I whimpered quietly at the three magical words been said. "I love you too, Jongin-ah."
THE END
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