HEARTHBREAKER MEMBER - Ahn, Ryeoshin

❝AHN RYEOSHIN❞

character's name┊ Ahn Ryeoshin

nickname(s)┊ Ryo (mostly only Miharu), Ryeollie (Joonsuk)

age┊23

birthday┊ August 30th, 1990

birthplace┊ Daegu, south Korea

timeline┊ Daegu (1990-2011), gangnam (2011-2013), Seoul (late 2013-present)

ethnicity┊ Korean

nationality┊ Korean

languages┊ Korean (fluent), Japanese (fluent), Engrish (semi-conversational)

height┊ 163 cm

weight┊ 54 kg

Position in Heartbreaker┊ manager (bassist or leader as back-up)

first first-claim┊ Lee Seungjun

pictures/galleries┊ Han

second/back-up face-claim┊ Go sanggil

pictures/galleries┊ DU

style┊

— Ryeoshin doesn't really have much of a style - he has a definite favorite of what he wears of only enigmatic and unsurprisingly hipster-like clothing. Black and white, or any sort of monochromatic colored clothes is all he really has, perhaps maybe with a dot of pale and washed out colors here and there. Being the manager and one of the people working on the inside and backstage, he also doesn't go too much of an extent to have fancy hair (his always cut meticulously short) or to dress up in elaborate outfits like the band members, mostly just a simple black coat or a grey turtle-necked sweater over some skinny black pants - the only time he would be overly formal is when they're really dealing with a formal situation and to meetings with arranging marketing for the band. He has no problem with having his tattoos be exposed though, and if weather and climate permits, Ryeoshin won't have a problem either with wearing tank tops that usually hang around him looser than on a usual guy - it's a deeply kept secret that some of his clothes are actually from the boy's section instead of the men's. As for accessory wise, it's not much if only practical; maybe a scarf when it gets cold, and his usual black plugs in his ears along with the sturdy leather watch that he always punctually keeps time on. It's only when he's extremely stressed and exhausted that he'll wear his dorky and oversized glasses.
Han, du, se, ne, daseos, yeoseos (more or less Seungjun's style)

extra┊ Each one of his tattoos running up both arms tells a story - some a more cheesier and lamer story like the phoenix on his right arm (being young and drunk off of independence, he got that to symbolize his youth), but some having a much more richer and/or darker meaning that one would never know except for himself. Many of them have to do with animalistic symbols, especially the birds decorating the top of his left arm sleeve tattoo, and most can be reasoned with the outlook and the life that Ryeoshin has (he got most of them after he finally quit doing drugs and to hide the needle scars in his arms). The most prominent one would be the quote tattoo that spans his collarbones, saying "It is better to be despicable than respectable." Never ask him about that one though, because all it would get you would be a degrading stare of the obvious why he would have that. Also, don't joke about him being in a gang or the yazuka just because he has tattoos, because that will definitely get you on his bad side.

personality key traits┊ economical (practical, efficient, stingy), cynical (enigmatic, cold, wry), Astute (insightful, intelligent, keen), authoritative (controlling, presumptuous, decisive), imperturbable (even-tempered, steady, sensible)

personality┊

"Whatever you do, don't be afraid of the dark."

Nonsense is nonsense when it comes to Ryeoshin - don't even talk to him about being anything but going down the fastest path to his goal. Why bother wasting time and appreciating things on the way, when one can get there faster and then have time to go around and spend doing those useless things that won't have an effect in the long run? Doing anything but the most rational and logical is utter bull to Ryeoshin, and if he can find a short cut, so he will. No one is getting any more effort from RYeoshin than he has to exert in order to get what he wants, and if he can even cut down on that, he will - it's not that he's lazy, he knows that he'll have better things to spend his time, effort or goods on later. So He certainly doesn't believe in the supernatural, and definitely doesn't have a religion that he follows - he stands proudly by the motto of what he can feel, touch, see, hear or sense in some way is what he will only believe. Faith in the unknown is ridiculous to him and he even mocks the idea of letting emotions have any influence in his judgmental and thoughts; so even if he might not openly scoff those who do, don't even bother trying to convert him into thinking of something better than what is probably going to actually happen - whether that is good or bad.

"unlike some people here, honey, I'm actually logical."

"Cover your eyes, the devil's inside."

The first impression that anyone would get from Ryeoshin is that he is cold - equipped with an almost tangiable aura of frigidness that would still any conversation once he walks into a room. It might be from the way he holds himself; expression never wavering from an almost bored and mildly offended look that seems almost like a mask, the fact that he would always have his hands in his pockets whenever possible to not touch anyone, or that Ryeoshin tries to speak as little as possible. THus, few people know much about him, and even less people actually can get Ryeoshin to truly interact with them in not such an aloof manner. He cares little about having to bend to the whim of other people, and even less about what they think of him - he had enough of that as a child. instead, Ryeoshin only speaks his mind, and it is a terribly sharp and often cruel one that he wields just naturally in his defense. While most people would try to look at the hopeful side of things, it is the more cynical and pessimistic facts of the situation or action that amuses and interests him the most, never one to back away from giving a sharp and/or often sarcastic quip that would have most people just cringing away if possible.

"Dear, there's nothing i love more than the smell of your morning breath and the fact that you looked like you've aged thirty years overnight."

"But I rise above it, high up above it, and see."

Being on the outskirts of society and even in most situations that he's been in, Ryeoshin has been able to develop a sense of observation that most sociable and normal people would find astounding. But really, it is just after years of simply staying quiet and watching that he has been able to practice perfect this skill of his - being able to hone his senses to detect things and tiny nuances that most people would never notice. His mouth never runs in front of his mind, and it's almost impossible for it to be so either, considering that as sharp as his words can be, his mind is even more keen. Ryeoshin can't say that he's a genius, but when it comes to street sense and able to get a bigger perspective of more than just himself to project a plan not only in the short-run, but also in the long-run. He's found himself in mroe than enough sticky situations to last him several lifetimes over, and probably (un)surprisingly, he's be able to get out of each one with the sheer skill and luck unscathed. Even when dealing with people who have an obvious advantage over him, never will Ryeoshin ever give anyone the benefit of knowing that they had an effect on him. he deals with everyone in the same manner; aloof and unruffled, no matter what the business is with them.

"love, I'm only going to say this once. Try it again and you won't even be around for me to mock you."

"Pleasure to meet you, prepare to bleed."

Ryeoshin is utterly self-confident in who he is, having easily built his walls and image after so many years of being a social reject; and now he will have nothing but besides what he had so carefully constructed over the year of his image. It's one that he has so smugly fit into that now Ryeoshin can even have the confidence to try and project his image to other people as well. He's managed without having to fit in, so why does anyone else have to as well? What does society have over him? Nothing, or so as he thinks, and so he is never afraid to sneer at those who does in order to shame them away from doing so. What he doesn't understand at all is when people seem hesitant to do or think anything just because of what society thinks so, and Ryeoshin equates this to being completely weak and thus, needing someone to either push or lead them along. This someone is what he fancies himself to - who better to direct and lead others than someone who has complete control over who he is?

"Baby, I know what's best for all of us. Tell me then, what else can you think of?"

"One day, it'll all just end."

being as confident and logical as he is, there isn't much that can worry or exactly elicit a proper reaction from Ryeoshin. Most ordinary day stress would be lucky to get even some worry in his mind, considering that Ryeoshin simply deals with all of them in the same efficient fashion that he does for anything else in his life. There is no procrastination when it comes to what he does, and if he can finish it early, then so be it - he doesn't have to worry. He doesn't have to be angry, irritated or stressed because of things he has to finish; Ryeoshin has utter faith in only himself that he can do what he must and what he has always done before. Thus, while everyone else might be racing around and pulling hairs out of their heads because of stress, he can merely continue on with his day, his work and his life like he has always done - efficient, calculating and logical.

"sweetheart, procrastination will get you nowhere. And I won't be waiting for you either."

background┊

"Up in the air, chasing a dream so real."

Ahn Ryeoshin's life started out like something from a drama - a older and established man finds a young and beautiful woman attractive enough to sleep with, then leaves her once he finds out that she is pregnant with his child. He doesn't want the responsibility of having to care for the child, and the woman is left with a bitter taste in and a growing baby in her belly. So from the very beginning, ryeoshin had a debt, a burden, a fault already on his shoulders. He grew up, not in a nice place, but in an apartment with the minimum essentials to live a life barely above poverty and a mother who had more bitter feelings for the fact that she had what she considered a leech. Some people are just never meant to be parents, and she was certainly was one, completely oblivious and uncaring of what she should feed a baby and when she should. It almost seems from a miracle that he even grew up to be a functional adult, considering that from the very beginning, he was always malnourished and fragile compared to those of his age - a toll that he will have to carry for the rest of his life. This followed even until he went to school, which the difference between him and other children became even more evident; while they had parents to lead them to school and make sure they got their lunch and homework done, all ryeoshin got was perhaps a sympathetic teacher here and there who tried to do all they could during school. But once he was at home, there was no one there to encourage or push him along to the right path; Ryeoshin had to motivate himself, and do everything independently with his mother being often abusive and even detrimental to who he was.

"all the laws i've broken, loves that i've sacrificed."

Money was a definite issue for the Ahn mother and son - while they just had enough to feed themselves, it was barely enough to meet the financial needs that Ryeoshin had for school and for life in general. And that was something that his mother never hesitated to scream at him for, saying venomous things when she was drunk like that it was all his fault that they couldn't be having the sweet life, that she didn't have all the jewelry that she wanted and that she had to care about a useless boy who couldn't even do anything for her. Ryeoshin really took that to heart; to have your own mother saying those kinds of things eventually drove him to try and find a way to get money easily and to do it with the least effort possible. school was nothing short of a ripe field ready to be harvested - full of opportunities, because even if Ryeoshin didn't belong or get along well with the cliques and groups formed, at least he had an outlet. And then one day when he noticed some boys smoking in the bathroom, that was the beginning of the toxic web that he spun for himself to catch the money he needed. It started out small at first, just dealing some weed here and there for money slipped under tables and in between lockers. It was some money, but not enough. Not until Ryeoshin hit the harder things, the ones that would drive people literally insane after a while that he began to be ensnared in his own web - addicted to the constant rush of power and drugs, and never once had his mother ever questioned where the cash came from. It just flowed partially into her hands, and she greedily accepted it.

"a thousand times I tempted fate."

Ryeoshin was content - in a sick and twisted way, he was so happy with what he had right now. For once, he had gotten one of the things he lacked, money. And he was absolutely drunk off that concept. in all of his high school life, people still avoided him whenever possible; Ryeoshin had contacts and acquaintances, but he never had friends. Or at least, that was so until one day, this little freshman, looking barely just off the block of some rich high-end school in the north, began to hang around him. At first, Ryeoshin thought that he was just one of his "clients," but as the day turned into a week, he didn't go away. Ryeoshin, of course, was more than irritated at this sudden annoyance clinging to his life - he worked alone in the school, and had never needed anyone, especially not not. When the week turned into a month though and reluctantly, he began to find out more about this kid, namely that he was both filthy rich and it was obvious that Miharu wasn't going anywhere soon, so did the cogs in his brain start to turn. It was the same mentality of what he had adopted from the treatment of his mother; if he was going to have a liability of a kid around him, then he might use him for some good in order to make a use for him to be around. So it was, turning Miharu into his own little lackey after offering him a little harmless looking white pill. That, was the beginning of the end for them.

"STUCK IN A MOMENT OF EMOTION I DESTROYED."

For a while, life was even sweeter than it was before - rolling in the sweet sickening that was the fumes of drugs, and amid the daze of the loss of self control around Miharu and the growing amount of cash, it seemed sweet. Too sweet, and as there is a beginning, there must also be an end. And that ending came around one night, fogged in a mist of and drugs when unable to have the control to restrain Miharu from using the whole stash he had hid there in his stupor, things began to spiral out of control. Ryeoshin had been in hairy situation, moments when he had thought his life was over, but never had it been more apparent than now. Couldn't breathe, too hard to breathe, needed his inhaler, where was it, why the was Miharu- And then, as cliche as it sounds, that was when Ryeoshin could see his ed up life flash through his eyes. His vision was blurring, blackening out, Ryeoshin thought it was end for him - and for once, he prayed. He was desperate, mad even. He just needed to live, and his bargain was his life for the discontinuation of drugs. Whether by the miracle of some high being he didn't care about or sheer luck, somehow his fingers managed to curl around the smooth plastic of his inhaler. then ryeoshin took a breath of it, and there he turned the page to a new chapter of his life to leave Miharu back in the shack with a call to the emergency officials.

"This is a portrait of a tortured you and I."

RYEOSHIN WAS NEVER REALLY AROUND TO CARE WHAT HIS MOTHER DID WHILE HE WASN'T THERE, BUT THE THING WAS THAT HIS MOTHER NEVER REALLY CARED ABOUT WHAT HE DID EITHER - AND NOW EVEN LESS SINCE SHE HAD ALL THE MONEY SHE WANTED WITHOUT QUESTION. SO WHAT HE DIDN'T KNOW WAS THAT WHILE HE was in his fog of both pleasure and drugs after school, was that from the twisted hand of fate, she and miharu's father had gotten together. Ryeoshin would have been happy not to know, not to care, not to ever look back on that male that he had thought he had gotten rid of back in the shack because he had both moved out to his only friend's apartment and was attending college as an art major (let's not mention that he is still dealing drugs, that itself is the only drug that he still takes). But when his- their parents made it obvious that they wanted a "happy" family being together for even a few months, Ryeoshin figured that it wouldn't hurt to, considering that if he could put with Miharu for a bit longer, he would be practically rolling in the cash that Miharu's father had. So he decided to humor them for a bit, holding his constant frigid visage about - he could not express the guilt and the mixed poison of emotions inside of him. How could he feel about this for Miharu? To know that he was the one to start him on this spiral to nothing? to realize that miharu was always just a stupid kid who fell with the wrong guy? But for Ryeoshin, logic always won out in the end. And whenever Miharu asked for more drugs with payment far greater than anyone had been willing to give him, Ryeoshin could only think of the money.

"I'll wrap my hands around your neck with love."

But as soon as Miharu moved out, so did Ryeoshin. He moved on, or so he thought. Sure, Miharu sometimes did come around to get some more drugs, but for the most part, they avoided each other to keep the uneasy peace and since they just could not handle the growing tension of their past between them. Or so that was, until one day, Ryeoshin received a call that would throw his life back into chaos. Miharu was in the hospital - over dosage again. And for the second time, he saw his life- no, their life flash before him. He had never realized just how important Miharu was to him until now, and in the midst of panicking to get to the barely alive male, there was also the deep seated fear of getting caught. Yes, that what he told himself, that was the only reason why he needed to be involved in Miharu's life again to prevent the idiot from ever slipping out that it was his fault, this time to control him fully. And so, considering that Miharu was just practically obsessed over this band he was and how convenient that they didn't have a manager, Ryeoshin figured why not take the position then. for all the other guys knew, he was just an acquaintance that Miharu brought in and with his organizational and perfectionist skills, he got the spot. They didn't need to know who he was, why he was there or what he had to hide. He was just their manager, for all they could know about him.

likes┊

- anthem style songs - There's just something about it that makes him feel alive and productive - probably because that was what they were written for. He doesn't exactly care what genre it is, as long as everything is decent and it's an anthem song, Ryeoshin will probably like it.

- bundled up - There's nothing that makes him more happier than when it's a cold day and he's able to be perfectly and snuggly warm in his clothes. Not only in one layer, but more like four that doesn't even make him seem larger than he is, along with some boots, fingerless gloves and a long warm scarf around his neck.

- stormy days - There's something soothing about the pitter-patter of rain and the deep rumbling of thunder that puts Ryeoshin absolutely in ease. Even when other people might be afraid of storms, he simply likes it, and sometimes might just stare out to watch it.

- Japanese Culture - He's practically obsessed with japanese culture, and oftentimes wishes that he was japanese instead of korean. He even likes japanese food more than he does with korean food, except that kimchi will never leave that special place inside his heart.

- tattoos - if it's not obvious, ryeoshin absolutely loves his tattoos. he finds it quite poetic and ultimately meaningful that he can basically use himself as a living and breathing work of art that expresses who he is and why he doesn't need the rest of society to criticize what he is.

- spicy food - Do not ever challenge him to a spicy food contest. Because Ryeoshin is absolutely sure he can win, considering that he's actually eaten a whole jalapeno before without even batting an eye or doing anything besides simply digging into the kimchi right after.

- stuffed panda - It's not something that a lot of people know, but Ryeoshin does have a stuffed animal (a tattered and faded panda bear with an ear chewed up and a limp leg) that he sometimes just tucks into his bed away from prying eyes to comfort him sometimes at night.

- tumblr - tumblr is his life. tumblr is his guilty pleasure of a drug that he hasn't given up yet. Whether it's because he's bored or that he just goes onto it find his funyy/witty thing of the day, Ryeoshin doesn't want to admit that he is actually quite hooked onto it. His tumblr username is "ryeoway" and he usually reblogs only the most amusing and wittiest things he finds.

- art classes - Ryeoshin might have hated school in general, and actually never finished college, but it wasn't that he hated everything about it. One thing that he actually liked was the art classes, when all that he had to do was just do what he pleased on a piece of paper without any restrictions or prejudice.

- reptiles - fur causes allergies to him that usually sets off an asthma attack, so any animals with fur or even feathers is completely off his list of likes. Instead, he has a fascination with reptiles, and admires the way they seem perfectly in control of themselves at all times.

dislikes┊

- BRIGHT COLORS - TOO MUCH COLOR IS REALLY JUST A NUISANCE IN RYEOSHIN'S EYES. SURE, HE COULD LET IT SLIDE WITH THE LEAD SINGER, BUT TO BE HONEST, TOO MUCH COLOR JUST MAKES EVERYTHING SEEM THAT MUCH MORE TACKY AND WORTHLESS IN HIS EYES. IT IS ONLY WITH SIMPLICITY AND CLARITY THAT THINGS CAN BE APPRECIATED, NOT SLATHERED OVER WITH COLORS.

- INVASION OF PRIVACY - WHATEVER YOU DO, YOU DO NOT GET INTO HIS BUSINESS AND RYEOSHIN WILL DO THE SAME FOR YOU. HE VALUES HIS MORALS, HIS IDEAS AND HIS POSSESSIONS MUCH MORE THAN ANYONE IS GOING TO CONVINCE HIM OTHERWISE, AND IF YOU DARE TO DO SO, ONLY HIS WRATH AND CONTEMPT WILL BE THE RESULT OF IT.

- SKINSHIP - RYEOSHIN IS SOMEONE WHO RESPECTS HIS PERSONAL SPACE AND WHAT HE RESPECTS AROUND OTHER PEOPLE AS WELL. HE WON'T EVEN LET SOMEONE TOUCH HIM WITH A 20 FOOT POLE, OR EVEN COME CLOSER THAN THREE FEET TO HIM WITHOUT FEELING UNCOMFORTABLE ABOUT BEING SO DAMN CLOSE TO OTHER PEOPLE. YOU CAN LOOK, BUT YOU CAN'T TOUCH.

- DISORGANIZATION - RYEOSHIN HAS A FAINT SUSPICION THAT HE ACTUALLY HAS PERHAPS A MILD CASE OF OCD, BECAUSE HE JUST CANNOT STAND MESSES AND THINGS NOT BEING PERFECT. ESPECIALLY WHEN IT'S JUST THE LITTLEST THINGS THAT AREN'T JUST RIGHT LIKE THE REST, AND THEN HIS IMPULSIVENESS TAKES OVER TO FIX IT.

- EXERCISING - HE JUST CANNOT EXERCISE. PERIOD. EXERCISE IS COMPLETELY OUT OF THE QUESTION, ESPECIALLY CONSIDERING THAT HIS ASTHMA ALWAYS KICKS UP AFTER A FEW MINUTES OF HARD RUNNING AND probably has the worst stamina of anyone around. He is strong mentally however, to make up for his absolute physical weakness.

- cold weather - it's not so much the snow and whiteness that makes him dislike it, it's the mere coldness that does. Ryeoshin's body is greedy for warmth, and just as easily prone to lose it, which is why he is never able to handle being cold for long.

- emotions - To a logic-ruled person like ryeoshin, having or being influenced by emotions is absolutely ridiculous and doesn't make the least sense at all. He certainly has enough sense not to be affected by it as much as possible, and it irks him deeply when other people are.

- math - There's just something about numbers and trying to figure around them that makes his head want to shut down and sleep right then. Sure, he can do most of the real-life application math, but it doesn't mean he has to like it whenever he's calculating costs and whatnot for the band.

- Dramas - Why would someone need TO ACTUALLY WATCH DRAMA TO BE ENTERTAINED WHEN THERE IS ALREADY ENOUGH DRAMA IN THE REAL WORLD? RYEOSHIN CAN'T UNDERSTAND WHY PEOPLE ACTUALLY DO LOVE DRAMAS, AND NEVER MAKE HIM WATCH ONE BECAUSE THE FIRST THING HE WILL DO IS START POINTING OUT ALL THE FLAWS AND SPOIL THE ENDING WITH ALL THE CLUES THAT HAPPEN.

- korean pop industry - What is up with the practical manufacturing of perfect looking people in the korean society? There's almost nothing Ryeoshin hates more than turning on the tv and seeing their perfect and plastic looking faces dancing around, all the perfect models of society.

- sleeping - Sleep is a waste of time. Sleep is for the weak. He certainly doesn't have time to lose sleeping out of all things. Does it matter that he now has dark panda eyes? Not really for Ryeoshin, not when he can get so many things done instead of just sleeping.

trivia┊

- asthma - he's had asthma ever since he was a little boy, and it hasn't went away since. It's not something that a lot of people know, and he tries to keep it as much of a secret as possible. Even if he might carry around his inhaler stashed away in a place only he can find, ryeoshin is always careful enough not to set off any alarms that might trigger it if he can. his asthma is also one of the reasons why he stopped smoking and doing drugs; one time he almost died when he had an attack and was too high to find his inhaler.

- injuries - In total, Ryeoshin has broken his bones three times; once when he broke a leg falling down the stairs at age eight, twice when he broke his arm from colliding it with a metal pole at age fifteen and thrice when he broke a rib and punctured his lung from unknown causes (while he was high) at age eighteen.

- instruments - he could have technically been a band member if he really wanted to, considering that he's dabbled a bit in both the guitar and the drums. He has a relatively quick habit of picking up music quickly by ear, and now usually just listens and criticizes the band's music when needed.

- cooking - Considering that it's all guys and most of them would probably burn the entire kitchen down before doing anything more complex than ramen, Ryeoshin is usually the one who has to cook for them so that they don't eat ramen or take out every freaking night. Not that he's an amazing cook or anything special, but at least the food he makes is decent and simple to make that it feeds the boys full of produce and carbohydrates with the least effort and money.

- driving - maybe (not) surprisingly, but Ryeoshin is actually quite a good driver. He might be a bit small for the van or bus that they have to drive, but if it's someone who they want to trust their life in responsibly, it's ryeoshin. Just trust in him to make the best decisions and get out of situations where it might just look like they would die at any moment.

habits┊

- endearments - The first thing and the most lasting thing that Ryeoshin will leave as an impression is his habit of calling everyone, even people he hates, with terms of endearment. SOme of his favorites are: baby doll, dearest, dear, love, honey, baby... the list goes on. He doesn't call people by their names, not unless he's absolutely angry and that's when he only calls them by their names - no endearments.

- doodling - As an artist, Ryeoshin can't help but always see inspiration and a starting point for everything. So to try and get some of that frustration out, he vents it by letting it flow to his fingers and onto any marking utensil he can find on any kind of surface possible.

- staring - He really isn't the type of person who ever smiles. Or frowns. Or does anything much than a small subtle shift in his body language; maybe a slight tilt of the eyebrow or a barely perceptible quirk in his lips. What he really communicates the most with is by his eyes, which he usually has a "really, " sort of look in it.

- scratching - Just a nervous tick of his, it's one of the only ways he can be seen to be nervous or stressed out about something. He'll just start scratching and touching the old shot scars (most of them already inked over) on his elbows and scratch them without even knowing.

- Gyeongsang accent - Considering that he's lived in Daegu for more than half of his life, Ryeoshin has a damn heavy accent if he's not explicitly thinking of not doing his accent. After the years, he's careful enough not to let it slip through too often, but whenever he's arguing or angry, it'll just suddenly pop out faster than a hidden fart.

Fears┊

- being caught - Every drug dealer's nightmare, this is one of the top things that keeps Ryeoshin awake at night with the scenarios running through his head of what ifs and more what ifs. He's always been careful never to leave any open holes anywhere, but there have been times when he's barely escaped unscathed and left him scared to the bone.

- guilt - it's something that is harbored deep inside his heart, and one of the things that Ryeoshin cannot understand, no matter how much he tries. guilt that constantly pushes him to do things for Miharu that he wouldn't normally and logically do, making him think things that he would never think without. It scares him to see how much guilt rules his life and his mind.

- death - ryeoshin has had a few close-death encounters, and none of them were pleasant. And not especially since death always seems to want to strike him at the most inconvenient times with his asthma constantly lurking at the back of his mind, and drugs completely screwing him over that death always seemed to be in his face for a few years straight.

- large crowds - Considering that Ryeoshin is both tiny and fragile, large amounts of people absolutely terrifies him. There's so many things that can go wrong in a crowd; what if there was a stampede and since he's so small, everyone pushes him over and he gets crushed under foot? what if he gets lost in the sea of people? it's already bad enough that he's short, so being in a crowd spells even worse news.

- Over dosage - one thing that a lot of drug users don't understand is the risk of over dosage. The chance that one day, you might just take too much because you don't know what the hell is going on and the next thing you know is that you're on your back in the hospital or dead. As for Ryeoshin, he's always been careful enough never to go that far, but considering that Miharu has... He just can't get that nagging fear out of his head.

parents┊

— Ahn Songyeon | 39 | unemployed | insensitive, chronic liar, insecure, weak-willed, resentful | mother - She didn't like him as a baby. Just flat out, didn't like him as all she saw him was a nuisance and what caused her "perfect" relationship with his father to break (since the man was not ready to support a child and did everything he could to shun her out once he found out she was pregnant). So as he grew up, she constantly told him that they needed more money. Always, and no matter how much money he brought home for her, she would always demand more but never ask where he got it. Really, she didn't care much at all and completely dumps the blame of their terrible life on him.

Kang Ilyong | 46 | business owner | arrogant, cold, calculating, daredevil, charismatic | father - though ryeoshin doesn't even know what his father even looks like since his parents broke up before he was even born, all he knows is whatever his mother rambles about whenever she's angry and/or drunk.

siblings┊

— None

best friends┊

— Shin joonsuk | 21 | bartender | narcissistic, flexible, observant, sociable, witty | Even a drug dealer like Ryeoshin needs somewhere to start, and that comes from Joonsuk. While they actually have a quite working relationship, there are times that they can definitely rely on each other to get one another out of a sticky stiuation because if one of them goes down, so does the other. So after being friends for a while (during the last few years), they've found a good balance of push and pull, often calling and contacting each other to see how the other is doing - even if they're currently been separated for so long.

friends┊

— Ryeoshin has many whom he would consider contacts and business acquaintances, but never friends. He doesn't trust almost anyone enough to consider them anything more than in extremely professional terms.

rival/enemies/love rival┊

— Hwa Miharu | 21 | drummer | IMPETUOUS, TENACIOUS, FIESTY, AUDACIOUS, DAUNTLESS | Their relationship is in the least, extremely... COmplicated. Step-brothers, exes, rivals; those are all some of the words to describe them together. Do they truly love each other, or do they not? Is it enough for them to only have platonic love, or is there still a simmering of what they had before for one another? They personally, aren't exactly very sure about anything with each other any more - their relationship is extremely shaky and rocky for a while now ever since their world practically flipped over and they were more or less stuck together as stepbrothers. Some days, they seem like they can tolerate each other just barely, other days, Miharu completely bends and bows to Ryeoshin's every whim and other days, they seem like they never had a peaceful day in their life together.

Username┊ Xiumini

Name┊ Xiumai

Activity level┊ 10/10

scene suggestions┊

- Good relief - One day, the band finds out that one (or multiple) of their venues are canceled for whatever reasons, and they're all about to break down when Ryeoshin comes in confidently and simply says that he's found alternative with a completely impassive expression while the band couldn't help but cry out in relief.

- Accents & Staccatos - While Ryeoshin and Miharu are simply sassing each other back and forth (in their accents nevertheless), one of the other members get the inspiration to take down their argument to pen and paper. And lo behold, after a few hours (or days) of working, the member has actually managed to put their argument into song form and presents it to them.

- Silent rest - After a very successful performance, ryeoshin simply meets the rest of the group backstage and says nothing. Instead, he merely smiles at them and pats their shoulders, which is one of the best encouragements that they could probably ever get from Ryeoshin.

- Sick leave - One day, Ryeoshin gets so sick that he can't cook for them for a week or so, so the boys have to live off of take-out and them trying to cook for themselves. So when he gets better again and cooks for them again, they can't help but be so relieved that they don't have to eat suspiciously maybe not food any more.

- job - one of the other members accidently finds Ryeoshin's drug stash and all of a sudden, their entire world is turned upside down when the members (besides Miharu) don't know if they can trust him any more. Which causes a whole bunch of tension and angst and drama!

anything else?┊ Nezzi and I will probably send you more information and whatnots about the lovely RyeoHaru pairing soon since their relationship seriously has so many intricatices, layers, twists, and all that loveliness. It's like a maze. XD

comments┊ Ryeoshin's background and personality might seem too over dramatic with the angst, but I can ensure you that most of it is actually based on the pieced together parts of real people from my friends and their stories - especially with his childhood and his environment, that is a serious issue of one of my friend's friend.

password ┊ up in the air & Night of the Hunter

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