I'm writing this from my phone since I'm out of the house right now. A lot of things haven't exactly been going my way for a few years and today is the last straw. I'm so worn down and torn apart that I'm not sure how frequently I can update and I'm sorry. I'm failing school, losing friends, I lost the one person I ever trusted and gave my heart to, and evrything is just crashing down at once.

My "friends" mocked me after a panic attack in my last class yesterday.

People talk over me and ignore me

Kids and teachers shove past me like I'm not even there.

My boyfriend left me without even breaking up with me. He's distant and cold and uncaring.

My grandmother officially disowned me for not being Christian.

My parents have been fighting on and off for years, and my mom has been gone for two weeks. She said she was at my aunt's house this whole time. She lied. My aunt called and asked why she wouldn't answer her phone; she'd never even been there.

I've been violently ill for months and have been losing weight and sleep.

Today my parents have gotten papers to fill out for splitting.

I'm most likely not getting better any time soon without a lot of care, medication, and therapy. They won't have an answer until tomorrow.

I've never felt so tired. I'm too tired to even sleep. 

I'm sorry guys, I don't mean to let you down. I know I promise all these great things, and I keep making unfulfilled promises... I'm a crappy guy, as I'm sure you already knew, haha. I'm sorry...