Sometimes you just wanna say it out loud but you just can't. You can't just ruin this friendship because of your stupid confession.

Before maybe 2 years ago, i thought that why people have to cry, why they have cut, why they have to suicide?????

Now...........

I know why they do that.

They can't just take the pain.

Should I do like them to not face the pain that no one can even know. I seem like a normal 18 years old stronge deep inside, I'm very sensitive and cry baby. I can't do anything. I want to talk about it out loud but I can't.

All I can do is to write my painful memories and buried it in fire.

I think that it can be gone but no it comes up without me relize it.

You might ask me why I look so pale today.

You might ask me why I didn't go to school.

It has one same answer.

I'm sick of everything. But I can't just tell it to you. I can only keep it inside of me.

These days, I really try so hard not to cry and not to remember it but you know sometimes you can't just forget it. It always popped up in your mind no matter what're doing.

I'm telling the person that I trust the most about my pain, that person just only reply 'Ohhh' 'I'm busy. reply later.' To that person, you think I'm happy when you said that. No....I'm not. It makes me want to cry even more. If I beg you to stay by my side forever, is that a funny story for you???? Is that a line in comedy??????