I actually been thinking what would happen to my family if I have never been born. would they be happier because there's no one to make them feel irritated nor feel like having a big burden on their shoulders. it's like this. I do something out of my own will. but they still see it as a mistake. I'm the black sheep of my family. Never been treated like how they treat my older brother. all the things I do are wrong. I can't seem to do something right. for them I'm just a burden. a teenager who's been a rebel ever since I was a child. but I'm wondering, do they really know me? I keep on pretending to be someone I am not. pretending just to please everyone. pretending to be okay when I am not. pretending to be happy when in favt deep down i side me I feel broken as hell. do they even know how I feel? they keep on telling me I'm an insensitive person. and all I care about is myself. maybe they're right. I'm being insensitive to them and how they feel. but do they even know what I am feeling? Broken. torn apart. that's how I feel right now. after hearing those words that I'm being selfish, I always get irritated, I'm insensitive. maybe ending my life would be a great option right now. just to end ny sufferings. to end this pain I'm feeling. so sad, but true. few more years. I will leave.