Girls will never understand boys. I’m pretty sure about that.

Tuesday, 28^th  January 2014. That day, my school had basketball competition schedule and people from school were required to support the basketball team. But it’s only required for 10^th and 11^th grader, though. Me, one of 12^th grader students, didn’t require to come to the competition and support the team. But I really wanted to see it, the basketball team and our dancer team. So yeah, I planned to go to see the match. Besides I didn’t attend the first match too.

I came alone to see the match. Well, since the 12^th grader didn’t require to attend the match, there was only ME who came to the venue from my batch. Gee, I felt lonely. I thought that I would meet my friends in the venue. But boy, I was wrong. In the venue, I met with my junior and I asked him, which stand would we use to support the team. I just nodded after he told me which one, but there were not many students from my school yet to support the team. In the end, I decided to sit on random stand, and waited patiently for others 12^th grader who would come and see the match.

But suddenly a boy from my batch walked in front of me and I immediately called his name (let’s call him “B”) Looked like he came alone too. B looked at me, smiled, approached me, and sat down beside me. I started to ask him where’s the others 12^th grader and he said that he didn’t know about it.

There were still 30 minutes to go before our school’s basketball team’s match. And yeah, I stuck with this boy. No, not that I hate him or don’t like him. Geee, but well, let me be honest about this; The fact that I stuck with someone I had little crush on, made me feel nervous about this.  

We started to talk random things. We commented about everything around us; the basketball match, the weather, our school, friends, juniors, the supporter who came to support our school—everthing. We really talked much, even the unimportant things. We laughed together everytime stupid things or funny things in our talk. We really got along well. I didn’t expect this to happen. Everytime we stopped our talk, either me or him would start for another topic. Heck, I barely talk with him in school, even it’s only say “Hi” to each other—we barely do that. We usually just passed each other in school, or just exchanging smile, that’s all.

On between our talks, there were times when he met his old friends. And his friends misunderstood us for being a couple. I couldn’t blame them, though. I mean, what would cross on your mind if you saw a girl and a boy, sit together, talk about random things, and look so close? And it was on public place, for God’s shake! Then not long after that, our two of our batch friends came together. They are a couple, the real ones. I and B noticed them and started to call them, offering them to sit together on the same row as us. But they chose to sit on other row, gee, they wanted to spend their couple time.

Our school’s basketball team’s match had started. The talks between me and B weren’t that much again, but we kept talk and talk, still commenting about something and it should be fun but for me, no….. I have reason why I felt uncomfortable about our closeness and the fact that we acted like a real couple (for public’s eyes) in this certain place and situation.

He already has a girlfriend..

I swear I would like to kill myself of that fact. We knew it, I knew it, and he knew it that he’s already taken. His girlfriend is our junior, and God, his girlfriend’s friends probably and mostly knew that WE sat together, looked really close, and all of those things I’ve told you, Guys.. I didn’t expect that this would happen. I swear to God, those time when his old friends came to approach us, I kept silently telling him in my mind that it’s okay for me if he left me alone and joined his friends. But he didn’t and stayed beside me for 1 hour and half. Why just why you kept to stay beside me, B? It’s okay for me if he left me alone, because I’m afraid that people would mistook us as a couple.

Believe me, it was the worst feeling I’ve ever felt.

Usually I don’t really get along well with people I barely talked to. Even with my girl friends. But with him? He’s a boy, I barely talked to him, and from 18 years my existence in this world, this was the first time I feel comfortable with someone only with 1 hour and half of our talks.

When I met him in school after that, it came back to usual situation before our /coughs/ date /coughs/. Can’t blame him tough, he has his girlfriend already and I’m nobody. I’m just his friend. That’s all.

Forgive me from writing this blog post. This, I can write a oneshot with this long blog post hahahah. I don’t know where else I can write. I can’t talk this thing to my friends—it’s going to be an endless gossip among my friends and I won’t let it happens.

Oh yeah, I had a little crush on him when I was on my 10^th grade. Now I don’t have that feeling anymore.

No, I am not.

I will not.

Hopefully...