I hate 2013 so much. It started off with counting down to 2013 alone in a huge crowd of people because I'm not important. Then buying my own birthday cake because no one bothers. (that cake became my favorite ever since because I thought it's the only thing there for me. Kinda stupid I know) Got in to a very bad injury because of dance and my mates think it's nothing. My clique celebrated and surprise one of my friend's birthday(same age as me) because this age is a year that should not be neglected and is important. I have to try my best to put on a smiley face even when I'm jealous over it. (call me childish but it really affected me as if I'm not as important to them.) An F for one of my subject. Fell down in front of audience while dancing with my mates and got mocked at non stop after that. (just because I laughed it off doesn't means I don't feel anything. I just don't want to be pissed off with myself for falling down and bringing the atmosphere to an uncomfortable level for you all that's why I laughed with you all and act as if it's nothing. When that same friend you guys celebrated the birthday for fell on stage previously, you guys just kept quiet and dare not laugh. Why must it be a different case for me? I feel humiliated too, I have feelings too..) My phone decided to play trick on me. You guys didn't care. I made you guys my priority, I always marked important dates down just so I could celebrate with you all (new year countdown, my own birthday which I thought you guys would make the effort to celebrate with me, holidays, weekends, christmas and more..) I thought wrong didn't I? I thought I am as important in you guy's life just like you guys are to me. I always try to keep everything to myself and act as if I'm always happy just so I could make you all smile and laugh. I tried so hard to make myself likeable but I guess it all went down the drain. I wasted my efforts didn't I? I just need a simple "are you okay?" when I fall or when I'm injured. Nothing came. What did you guys said when I told you all that I injured myself and pulled one of my muscle? "what is wrong with you again? What kind of injury are you talking about now?" in a super sacaratic manner. I don't need you guys to put all of your attention on me, but please.. Just realize that I am human too. I secretly cried on the day I fell on stage in front of everyone. I cried myself to sleep because I want to be strong in front of you guys. Please just make me feel like a friend..