Im in seriously conflict with my bff a.k.a ffl

I always love her. well as a friends and a sister. but something came out. 

A really big problem came. It makes me wonder. is it a sin to befriend with her. 

I start to friend with she about 2 years ago. We became extre close. 

And her other friends who she have been friends for about 8 years envy our friendship . Then that was the start of our conflict. it was so awkward among us. 

I started to feel this is my fault. I feel like I need to end our friendship. Because she deserve someone who have known her long. 

What hurt the most she look like don't care about my feeling. She ignore me. The pain is so unbearable. I finally say the words that I never think to say to her. Goodbye

But then, she say sorry. And don't want any goodbye among us. What should I do. the pain in my heart is so unbearable. I love her, but, why it hurt so much

She say don't say goodbye if I don't mean it. But, I mean every words I say. 

The only things left. If there is goodbye among us, will I be okay? will she be okay?

Who is gonna text her everyday? Who gonna keep me accompany when Im lonely.

I know I can't. But, the pain of being left is more hurt than lonely.

The most hurt moment is when, she look like the one who gonna say goodbye

Im sorry. But from now on. I will stop texting you. I need time