ACRIMONY BY BABY_ZELO15 | REVIEW BY MYUNG-SOOPERMAAN | 243.5/290 = 84%
 

TITLE (20/20) 

The title gave me a very deep impression. Acrimony is a word that is not so commonly used, which makes the title quite unique. The title also gives the reader a few hints about the story but doesn’t reveal the whole storyline, which is really good as many authors don’t do that. Your title also fits with your story so far. Basically, your title was excellent!


DESCRIPTION/FOREWORD (42/50) 

Description: Your description was short but straight-forward. You put the definition of your story title first, which is quite creative I must say, as many readers may not know what that word means and the use of short and simple words help trigger the reader's curiosity. You also chose to repeat some of the words and that helps emphasize the main points in your description. Overall, your description was really neat and summarised your story perfectly.

Foreword: You didn't really put anything about the story but you summarised it enough in the description. You put an author's note and credits in there instead, which is right. Your foreword was really neat.


CHARACTERIZATION (58/70) 

On your first page, you listed the main characters. You didn't reveal any information about them, but instead you put a quote referring to each person, that was rather unique.

Ahri: The first few words of the story revealed her personality. I thought that this would be one of those fanfics where the author reveals everything about the character straight away, without the story progressing but I was wrong. You displayed Ahri as a typical party girl at first but as we go further within the story, she still has feelings and a good side.

Myungsoo: He was displayed as the usual playboy. Usually playboys are described as cold and heartless people, but in this story, despite being a playboy, Myungsoo still has a caring side. 



PLOT (78/90) 

Your plot isn't cliché but it also isn't the most original, however, I think you have the ability to change that as the story is already starting to change, despite only having 3 chapters so far. The plot doesn't really leave any deep impressions so far so you should start using more cliff-hangers and things like that in order to make the readers more curious. I really think that this story will turn out really good though; I have high hopes for it.





FLOW (18/20) 

Despite the amount of scenes changing, the story is still easy to understand. However, I think there are still some possible improvements, therefore, you should go back and try improving it. Overall, your story’s flow was good.

READABILITY/STRUCTURE/MECHANICS (20/30) 

You hardly have many spelling mistakes in your story so far, the only one I've spotted is embararassed, which should've been spelt as embarrassed. 

You wrote: "Ahri looked down embarararessed that her mother just pointed her out and nodded slowly."

A better way of writing that sentence would be: "Ahri looked down, embarrassed by her mother and slowly nodded." 

Also, remember to capitalise your 'I'. You wrote 'I' with a lower case quite a few times. 



BONUS (+7.5) 

You had a really nice poster but it doesn't seem to show anymore. I also really like the storyline and have high expectations for this story. ^^



COMMENT

First of all, sorry for taking forever to do this review! I had exams and all, so I’m really sorry. On the other hand, I really enjoy your story so far, I even subscribed to it. Keep up the good work! 



CREDIT 

Don't forget to credit CC in your foreword!