I haven't updated any of my stories in 6 months and even then it was only for an authors note kinda thing... it's been so much longer since I've properly 'written'. The past year has been super up and down for me... I started to struggle with sixth form and my AS's (A Levels) and to cut the story short I basically got kicked off one of my courses because of my attendence, got a E in another and then with my final subject, Travel & Tourism, which was the only one I didn't up I got a B. Started my A2 (the second year of A Levels) and literally just couldn't take it, I'd moved about an hours drive away from my school by this point and the stresses of school mixed with the stresses of home life were really starting to get to me. I was barely a week into school before I started to skip classes and failed to do any homework. The amount of times I was in pure tears during those times was unbelievable... honestly they were. I ended finally going to see a doctor because I just couldn't take it and got put on anti-depressents... they helped... but school still ed me over and I decided to quit because the situations just weren't in my favor...

I was literally stuck in my room for a good few months... my friends were an hours drive away and I didn't have the confidence nor really want to go out and make new ones. I'd have days were I was happy and full of life and then others where I wondered why I was even born. It just so happens on one of my happier days I got off my and started asking around town for a job... and surprisingly a week later got offered an interview and then 2 days after the interview got offered a job... I was really happy, I also got put on different meds to help tackle my migraine problem and finally after a very long time I actually feel stable.

My confidence however isn't great still but I think I'm starting to learn how to talk to people more comfortably, I have to for my job, but yeah.. I just hope I can learn not to be so harsh on myself. Anyhow I just wanted to write this because I felt like people needed to know the real me... I just felt like I wanted to get this all out... it took me a good few months to even come out that I was depressed, although my close friends pretty much already knew, but yeah... I suppose I just wanted to justify why I haven't been very active on AFF and things like that because I miss writing I really miss it and I want to start doing again because I just loved how I could tap into that creative side of me...

To be honest I'm thankful for everyone on here and on twitter as well because I see peoples stories and then I hear peoples comments and it just fills me with a sort of hope that I can make it through and that I'll be alright, I'm still scared of whats to come and how I'm going to cope but I think I'll live for now at this moment because in reality thats all we really can do.

Sorry for the randomness and the slight slopiness, hopefully you'll be seeing some of my writing in the next couple of weeks fingers crossed. By the way if anybody wants to follow me on Twitter or Instagram my username is Noodles96_ for both of them~! I'd love to be able to talk and follow you guys on there as well~! :)

Bye bye.