I recently started dating this amazing guy (who I'll call Chip for the moment, to save identities).

Chip is my everything.

Chip gets me.

I get Chip.

 

Chip is a sophmore at my highschool.

Chip will be 16 in May, I'll be 14 next week.

Chip thinks he's pudgy, but Chip to me is perfect.

Chip loves music.

Chip is the ultimate music geek.

Chip and I like the same bands; Chip and I swap songs all the time.

Chip drives me insane, Chip loves me for me.

Chip sees past my huge bulky glasses and braces.

Chip sees past my fake smiles.

 

I love my Chip.

My Chip also has the most carefree laugh in the world- I'd do anything to make him laugh.

My Chip has insomnia- and whenever he does sleep, he gets night terrors.

My Chip has depression, anxiety, and used to conduct harm among himself.

My Chip has a hard time snapping out of slumps, and long-period terms of depression.

I just want to hug my Chip and never let him go.

I'd do anything to make my Chip happy.

Chip is honest with me, and I am honest with Chip.

My Chip deserves to be loved.

 

 

Here's the hard part.

Chip's heart is broken. 

Not just emotionally, but physically. 

 

Chip has heart arrythmia. 

 

Last year on New Year's, Chip's heart just stopped beating, out of nowhere.

 

Chip had gone to the hospital and then was diagnosed.

 

Chip was told that he may not make it through high school alive.

 

 

Chip has told me he won't make it through high school alive.

 

 

Chip has told me that I make him laugh, and Chip always calls me the most adorable things, like 'hon', and loves to tell me, "You're so cute." 

 

 

Chip makes me feel less alone.

Chip helps me with my depression.

Chip helps me feel something again.

 

 

Chip means everything to me, and I wouldn't live life the same without him. 

 

 

But I can't feel that safe and comforting security. 

 

My Chip might leave me at any second of any day.

 

And that scares me.

 

I don't want to lose my Chip.

 

 

 

I don't think anyone deserves to lose their Chip.

 

 

 

But, good things must always come to an end- no matter how good. 

 

 

 

So, Chip, if you're reading this,

 

I love you.

 

I sincerely do.