Hey guys,

For anyone who cares, I'm sorry I haven't been online very much. I haven't been writing very much either.
I started my last piece as an attempt at self-therapy, to help with the grief I felt over losing a (new) friend last spring. 
To be honest, I'm doing better but I still have a lot to work through. This wasn't the first time that someone my age had passed away, I had a classmate who got sick about a year after we graduated high school, but this time has been harder on me. I liked him a lot, he was a wonderful guy and he was in an accident, missing for a few days and.. I still think about him a lot. Just about everything makes me think of him. That's why I don't think I will be finishing that one anytime soon-- if ever. It was meant to be a way to deal with my grief but I'm not finished dealing yet.

I'm also...-- see normally I would use the words "drowning" or "buried" and I just can't do that anymore because I feel ridiculous using such serious words to complain about feeling like I have too much homework, exams and worries.
I want to graduate from University next year (2015) but I still have so much to do, so much money (that I don't have) to spend and so many classes to fit in to so little time.
I've been stressed over life and money, lonely and depressed because of my social life/lack of social life and a little bit horrified over dreams of self harm and the feeling of sick fascination and almost..longing the few times that I've cut myself accidentally.
I used to self harm, I used to have suicidal thoughts but the height of my depression was 2010. I've been doing better but lately I've...been feeling like I'm slipping and it scares me a little bit.
So.. this isn't a post for sympathy. I'm okay. I'll be okay. I'm just...sorry for not being around much and for not properly celebrating our boy's comeback with Mambo (which was perfect, am I right? <3 )

*deep breath*

I love you for reading if you did, I don't mind if you didn't.. 
Wishing you beautiful moments and joyful hearts. <3