A thanks and a rant. As always.

First off, I would like to say thank you for putting up with my random, useless blogs and thank you for letting me rant. You guys shouldn't have to be bothered with my problems and such. So, thank you. 

As a reward, I have a rant. Hahaha. I'm sorry.

So, as I've said in past blogs, I have a sister who.... Doesn't like to be nice. She's younger than me by almost 3 years. Seeing as she is younger than I am, she should naturally show me some respect, yes? Now, I'm not saying that she should show me respect and I shouldn't do the same back. I do show her respect. More than she shows me. I believe it should be an even amount between the both of us. She shouldn't have to show me more respect and I shouldn't have to show her more. I would rather it be equal so that she wouldn't feel like she gets treated worse because she's younger. Anyhow, I, along with others, have been noticing that she doesn't respect me at all.

I'm not the type of person who isn't going to be kind to my sister because she isn't kind to me. Truthfully, though, this is getting quite annoying. She asks me to help her with something or get something for her and being the kind person I am, I do it. Never happens the other way around. The other night, I was punched in the stomach. 

I will not go to my mother about this because.... Well, let's just say my mom and dad got into a fight because he thinks we should take problems into our own hands. So, this is what I'm doing. The only problem is, she won't even listen to my parents, let alone, me. People don't actually understand these things because they think "How could your sister do that?" or "I'm sure it's not that bad. Blow it off." Guys, even though she's my sister, she doesn't care. She has this way of thinking that if she isn't good, she gets more attention. She even tells people I'm only her half sister. It is true, but I don't introduce her like that. People I know only find out because they ask, due to the fact we look nothing alike. 

Oh, and. it's not that bad? Please, you haven't seen anything. As I mentioned before, I got punched in the stomach. I also get called fat, stupid, a , ugly, useless, lazy, etc. I wouldn't think so much of it, if it hasn't built up as much as it has. Everyday it's something new. Everyday I get hurt by my own little sister. She's stronger than you think. She's actually taller than I am, too.

I shouldn't be saying all of these things to you all and bothering you, but this needed to get out. I'm not sure how to handle it. I'm not asking for advice or time from your life to help me. All I'm doing is letting this out. There isn't anything I can do about this problem. She needs to see someone about her anger issues, but if she did, she would proudly admit that she has anger issues. That's the person she is. This is what I deal with everyday. 

Each of these blogs let you all in my personal life. I'm sharing these things with strangers. I guess it's better than talking to people I know because all the ones I know don't even care that much. Not like I'm saying you all should care, because you don't have to. This has nothing to do with you all and I don't want you to feel sorry for me. 

Thank you for listening. 

If there's anything I can do for any of you, let me know. I want to repay you.

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-Angela-Zhang- #1
To be frank, I don't find any of your blogs to be a bother. It would make me happy to be able to offer you some assistance; and reading and responding to your situations helps me mature as a person, too; in thinking about how I would deal with the situation.
:)
-Angela-Zhang- #2
Think about it like a small child who cannot yet talk; crying for a parents attention. Perhaps they want to be fed, or held. But they cannot yet express this need with words and cannot identify the feeling of "hunger" or "needing human contact". While your sister of course can communicate verbally, and is not a baby; these feelings are still new to her and she might be letting them out in the only way she knows how. That's not to say that she's not aware of what she's doing, and she probably knows that she hurts you, too. But sometimes in teenagers, the desire to hurt and destroy is prevalent, but will eventually lessen as the individual matures. Let's not forget that 12-13 years old isn't too far from 10 or 11. Even at 18, I find myself experiencing new feelings and emotions, in response to more adult situations that just make me feel like running away from it all. When I feel discouraged in university, for example, or feel that my friend deserves someone much better than me for company, I feel very overwhelmed and shaken. I don't know what to do, and I feel like the world will swallow me whole. These kinds of things are not necessarily situations that your sister would deal with. But the feelings may still feel as intense, only unlike me, or you, she has not yet reached a point in her life where she realizes that hurting others is not the proper way to deal with the issue.
-Angela-Zhang- #3
As I mentioned, previously, an appropriate course of action might be to confront her. Talk to her and ask her why she does things like call you names and is physically violent towards you. Present your case in a way that seems that you really want to know why she does it- which I'm sure you do. Be calm and patient and let her know that you really want to talk. If you manage to get through to her, let her know that it bothers you. Tell her that you're sisters- you're supposed to have a good relationship! ^^ I think most teenagers her age have "anger issues"; basically pent up emotions of maybe being overwhelmed with suddenly increased exposure and awareness of the adult world, frustrations with family (and not necessarily you, specifically), self-image issues and the desire to be different; to be rebellious and make people afraid, therefore making her and others like her feel powerful. Sometimes, this feeling of "power" is an expression of masking insecurity and feeling helpless and limited in the world. Even as we become older, and move onto adulthood, we might still feel powerless in the face of the world before us, and even though reaching out to friends or family is the healthier way to seek help, we may not like the feeling of "losing pride", or fear of being judged. Sometimes, these feelings are present in younger people, like your sister; only because of a lack of life-experience and practice in communication, they may not be able to identify the feeling, or its cause, and cannot express it in a less destructive way.
-Angela-Zhang- #4
You mentioned that your sister seeks attention through her foul behavior. This further convinces me to believe that she is indeed undergoing a stage of "immaturity", that is not uncommon with young people. I thought that it was only our generation, but I was talking with my aunt this summer, and how she hated the music her parents listened to. She said, "You know, when you're a teenager and you hate the things your parents like..." Maybe this is similar to your sister's perspective about you. None of us, as humans, are perfect, and maybe there are "quirks" about you that annoy your sister, just as there are probably things about her that irritate you. This doesn't mean that it's your fault, in any way; but for younger people, sometimes hate is the only way they can express this frustration. She is probably angry about other things, too, but uses you as an outlet. It's not right; but I hope this at least provides possible justification for her actions.
You may be right in saying that there's nothing you can do about the situation. Do you have any trustworthy friends, with younger siblings, who might understand where you're coming from?
-Angela-Zhang- #5
Well; it's always better to talk about things like this, even if it's here. Sometimes I wonder if I should post things that are too personal- for one thing, I feel sceptical at times about having too much private information lingering around, for public accesibility. But I do think that it is a good thing to be able to have an anonymous place to write out feelings. Even the process of writing can help get thoughts in order and work things out. Here, it is not like having to owe responsibility and accountability and worry about what you say creating a bad impression of you.
I for one, am not someone who will tell you that your sister's treatment is "not that bad". Physical violence is never acceptable, and I understand the severity of your situation. Also, it's always difficult when your parents are not people you can turn to for support in the situation.
I don't have much experience with younger siblings, but it seems possible that your sister might be "being a teenager", so to speak. I've heard that tension between siblings is not uncommon; especially when they are not fully related, as in your case. This, coupled with her being a young teenager might be the reason for her rude words and harsh treatments. I think that a lot of us can admit to "hating" a family member, at some point, as the saying goes "I hate my parents like a teenager". Maybe this is what your sister is going through. If she is, it may not alwasy be possible to reason with her. The intense emotion of hate and resentment will stick with her, no matter what you say. But; it may go away, with time, too. It might be appropriate to talk with her and ask her why she is being so mean to you.
DragonG #6
:( i honestly wish i could find the proper words to say that could somehow make you feel better. i can understand where you're coming from, but i don't think i'll ever understand exactly what you're going through because we have two different lives. but keep your head held high, because you're going to get the wonderful things you deserve, i know you will. unni loves you very much ♥
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