So I have been a bit down cast as Infinite will be in LA soon and I won't. It was unable to work out this time...they are going to be so close...okay it's actually like 12 hrs of driving time but it'd feel like only an hour to me...I can't help but be heartbroken over it.

    But then they have to invade my dreams and be right in front of me, singing and then meeting them. The setting in my dream reminded me of KCON honestly...not that I've been able to go to that either...

  First in my dream I was just excited because I was going to see Exo (my second bias'd group)...I was crying and my friends kept telling me it was okay and I was just so happy my dream was coming true. Then we found out that Infinite was there cause we didn't know and then there they were, singing and it was just like this can't be real, this cant' be, I'm dreaming. I kept asking my friends if I was dreaming and they'd laugh, telling me this is real, it's real this time. We were driving to meet Infinite and as I was walking to the building I kept asking "I'm not dreaming right? How do I know I'm not dreaming?"  while inside I was like I am dreaming I know it...but my friends convinced me again that I wasn't dreaming....

And for one moment (damn you moment...damn you!!) I truly thought I was there, thought I was seeing Infinite, thought that Infinite was literally a couple feet in front of me...and then I woke up and the smile that had been on my face while dreaming wasn't there anymore, and I started crying for real...but this time it was because I'm not seeing them and I don't know if I ever will.

  I've been trying to not be so effing sad about this..you know trying to be positive that they'll come to America again and I'll have my chacne then, that I will for sure see these lovely boys and hear their voices in real life...I should not be this sad over a bunch of boys that I don't actually know in real life! I just shouldn't....