Since I don´t have my phone for around one months now (I broke it), I didn´t talk a lot to my friends, maybe a few who have AFF too but to others I didn´t talk. What´s actually pretty sad, because I miss them a lot. I spend most of my time reading fanfics, book and watching dramas and there are two dramas, which I can kinda relate to my problems. The problems in this drama are kinda similar to mine.

49 Days (A really really good drama)

showed me to enjoy every day in my life. I often argued with some of my friends over little things and sometimes I feel so dumb. Why did I even start it? Why is it always me? I argued with them every day and the next day we were like nothing happened.

I never believed in true friendship when I was younger, because my best friend just used me to get better marks and new friends.

And I learned that I should love everyone and never be depressed over little things, never start an argue..

I hear your voice ( I finished it yesterday and I really loved it!)

I shouldn´t waste my life hating someone. It´s not that I hate someone, but there are times where I feel sad, because I often have the feeling I´m the third wheel. I realized it in September. One friend was on a class trip and before another friend didn´t talk to me that much..we talked a lot, but she talked even more when this friend wasn´t there. I realized it, when she came back.  I never told her this, because every time I talk about it, there would be a big argue and I almost lost the most important people in my life. It´s like a bubble..one mistake and it´ll disappear.

"There were many people who helped me. But the one most memorable is the one who made me into an adult. His trust of people was excessive, which made him seem a bit stupid. But with that trust, I saw him change people. Also, there was a person who was overconfident about herself. Yet, that kind of a person admitted she was wrong and apologized. And I learned how impressive a person can be if you reflect and apologize when you're wrong. Also, there was someone who showed me the path on which I shouldn't follow. He was someone who chose the path to live as a beast while living as a human. That person was immature and pitiful. There was a moment where I almost made the same choice as him. I also wanted revenge and almost made a similar choice. If that person wasn't there, I probably would have been living as a beast right now. She's unbelievably snobby, rude and doesn't have any modesty at all. But that person started to fight for the truth, and started to look at people. As I was swimming through darkness, she became my light, and my path. If that person wasn't there, I could never have made it here. Because of that person, I learned how precious it is to protect someone. Because of that person, I learned how important it is to listen to other's stories." - Park Soo Ha

The pain would disappear, but the scars are still there.

Sometimes you should forgive them and I forgive them. Even if they won´t read this.

When I get my phone back, I´m not immature anymore. I have to learn a lot of course. No one is perfect...

I will think first before doing something I could regret. I regret a lot. I regret being so childish, I regret some of my words, I regret a lot and I´m really sorry.

For being so immature and for hurting your feelings.

Never forget I love you all really much ok? I can´t imagine a life without you guys...I just can´t and I love all your flaws and I will accept all your mistakes.
I love you all<3 and I´m sorry for being so immature ...

Now I end my serious blog post ^^

Saranghae~<3