Hello, everyone!

Even if I don't have time, I end up crawling back here and I swear it's not my fault.

Actually, I just finished Latin's homework (grammar ;____;) and was trying to "study" English Grammar - why?

My best friend's sister, two years younger than me, asked me to help her with English. I said yes, of course, it couldn't be difficult, right?

Wrong!

Actually, she's going to have a test next thursday and there's a lot of things to study. Like in Portuguese, I never really learnt grammar but instead wrote what I think it fit the most within the sentence. Worst thing I could have ever done considering I didn't get to learn anything nor did anyone teach me. Now I am supposed to explain to her the Simple Future, Future Perfect, Future Continuous, Conditionals + a whole lot of Environment-related vocabulary. The thing is, I shouldn't have accepted it in the first place, but here I thought it was going to be something rather easy. 

Since I attended a "different" type of high school, where English was not definitely the most important subject, we didn't learn the same stuff everyone from other schools learnt. That leaves me a step behind everyone else in terms of Grammar Terms (not the grammar in itself, since I kind of know what is right and what is wrong, though I'm always learning). I've actually been trying to learn now the Future tense - I mean, last time I was taught the Future tense, it was all about will or going to, not this Future Continuous or Present Continuous with Future meaning---- what is that? So, besides my self not having enough time for studying college-related stuff, I've been pressuring myself into learning this.

It's actually stressing me out. I want to tell her I won't be able to teach her, but she seems so dependent. Yes, because even worst than this is that the girl understands nothing of English. And when I mean nothing, I mean nothing, nada, zero. 

That's why when I first offered her help, a few months ago, I was talking about help from the very beginning, not from whatever is going to be in her written test. . Just when I was about to text her this afternoon on how I was unable to explain her and how I did everything by instinct, I receive I huge message of her telling every single detail of what was going to be on the test. It made me sad. She always fails in English, and I really wanted to help her, but... I just can't.

On another unrelated note, like I said there ^^^^^^ in the title), college is fun, but extremely tired. I use all my concentration and I'm always 100% focused in every class, so I get home and literally fall on the sofa and only wake up, say, 1, 2 hours later. It's horrible because I've been feeling really inspired to write (~~~~~~~~~~~~ guess what, I'm writing Because I'm Stupid!!!!) and I just can't find time!! It wasn't that long ago (1 month ago?) that I had lots of spare time but no imagination to write, ugh. Actually, there is a little someone in my class that is inspiring me in Because I'm Stupid (that will have another name), that makes my day out of a simple glance. It's weird, but I'll leave it as it is hahaha I mean, because it's a somewhat sensitive point considering I'm not lesbian or biual and feeling like this makes me really, really confused. 

Lately I've been listening to a lot of acustic songs, soft rock, Mumford & Sons, Jack Johnson and John Mayer and my favorite radio station when studying, so I can say those are the main artists/groups that are making me alive these first days as a college freshman haha Funny how on Tuesday, at the end of Spinning Class, the personal trainer put Mayer's 'Your Body is A Wonderland', and trust me, may be his most overrated song, but after working out for 1 hour non-stop, it is sooooo relaxing. He once played Harper's ual Healing and it felt just perfect.

Well, I guess that's all for now. I don't want to give up on her and I really want to help her, but I'm so not ready for this! Will only be if I get to comprehend the Future tense, and that will only be able to come true if I focus on studying it, so, yes.

It's stressing me out ;____;