I tried to talk to him yesterday... and the day before... and the day before.... oh the list goes on.  All times I tried to talk.  I get nervous when the bell rings.  I sit down, try to eat, put my food away after 2 bites seeing as my stomach is roiling from nervousness, rolling around and around giving me no help.  I sit.  Next comes the beating of the heart, hard like someone is banging on a door, but it's not someone, it's my heart, and it's not a door, but my chest.  My breath is coming in short gasps.  Inaudible.  Each intake of air tightens my chest.  I put my headphones in my ears and let the music calm me.  A bit.  He is not here yet.  I start to relax... maybe, maybe not.  I lean my head against the wall and my eyes wander over to the entrance of this hall. He.is.right.there.... lahyfgb 34riwuehfasdkjfnwnrcwopr236723598#74387q76A78S6084*^)*&^*&%TWBXE7Q8B*&780Bimqocm my heartrate picks up to... oh about 1000 beats a minute.  My stomach is contracting, I feel like and irish river dancer, a proffesional tap dancer, a pack of playing puppies, galloping horses, butterflies and an angry tazmanian devil have been deposited in my stomach.  My breath... heck I don;t have any breath left... he stole it all.  I think my friend, YuMi is going blurry... i can't tell cuz my eyesight, which is supposed to be 2020 is slightly failing me.  My hands are shaking.  "Talk to him!" "Go say hi!" YuMi whispers to me.  I shake my head.  I'm scared... I stare at him then try to make myself look away.  I fail.  Then come his smiles, his voice... u know what i'm talking about.  I'm scared of these reactions... I don't even know him, why do I like him??  I don't want to feel this... these feelings scare me... I'm scared...

I messaged him the other day, and the day after, and the day after. On facebook... and he didn't respond... Let's just say I went to my kitchen, got an abnormally large peice of pumpkin pie, created mount. Whipped cream on top of it, grabbed HP 7 part 2 and went to my room.  I put the movie in and before even reaching the dvd menu i turned it off, along with my lights, layed on my bed and fell asleep playing solitare on my ipod trying not to cry... yeah I'm scared all right.... and I am probably blowing this out of proportion too... *sigh*

Is this love  Is this what love feels like??