Am I stupid for crying over Ryeowook's solo?

I'm proud of him don't get me wrong but when I watched the whole thing (I didn't get past his abs the last time) and watched him with all those dancers... it makes me feel like he's changed too much. Is this the real him or just some image SME is forcing on him?

I won't be delusional and say I wasn't jealous. I've never reacted this way before, watching girls dance on them and stuff in SS2 was fine.... even when he did insomnia, then again supposedly he was pressured into doing that for his hyungs..

I guess what I'm trying to say is, I cried because the realization that he won't ever even know who I am hit me. It's not healthy to like someone, especially an idol, this much. I want to say that I love him and I do... tons of people do... am I in love with him? I want to believe so. The reality is that I'm just one of hundreds of thousands.

I know I must sound pathetic right now huh? Sorry. I just needed to let it out. It's not normal for me to watch a video and start crying without even knowing it at first :(. Have a good rest of your day I guess. :)