well, i know i haven't been updating so idk if there is any sense if i blog about this but i still want all of you to know..

i am officially not updating anytime soon.

i have a lot of reasons:

SS5 Manila: I need enough money coz this is the first time that I will watch SuShow and I want to make the most out of it.. And it is gonna be happening just right before my birthday..

Work: I am unlike most of you..  Work 9hrs a day, 5 days a week and 8 only have what, 2 days of rest that I can't even 'utilize' to write and stuff

life: a lot of things has been happening that are so out of my control.. A lot of people are causing me some troubles.. Things.. Feelings.. Sad feelings..

slowly losing spark/interest: for those who know me, you all know that i have been writing since i was 8 and writing has forever been my passion but idk.. Lately i just don't really feel like i am doing such a great job.. Added to it are the lack of time management coz there are some things that i needed to settle.. I feel like i have been writing crap so maybe that's why no matter how much i want people to appreciate what i write, it just wouldn't happen or maybe when they do, it just wouldn't sink in.. Forgive me, especially to those who has been encouraging me to keep on writing.. I feel like i am slowly losing my touch.. There are so many times that i really wanted to quit especially coz i don't feel like i am a good writer as what people have been telling me.. Idk maybe it's coz of my surroundings/people at home.. There are times wherein I sit with a pen in my hand and I will just stare  at the what i am drafting and idk.. I just don't feel like writing.. Then there are imes when i feel sad that here are other writers who get praises and stuff while I get nothing.. maybe just those "it's cute!" or "please update soon" comments.. call me comments/attention but i really feel great whenever i get longer comments w/ either positive or negative feedbacks and stuff.. coz i know it will make me better writer.. i know i shouldn't just depend on that but lately i do.. And i really hate this.. I hate that I am letting some things get into my head and heart and stop me from doing one thing that has always made me feel so great.. The only thing that I know I am good at.. 😕

So yeah, maybe i really should get off for a while and figure things out..

i don't want to quit.. As i have said, writing is my passion.. That would make me go against my vow as a writer right?

don't worry, am still gonna be here, reading, commenting and prolly recommending some writers via twitter..

but me as a writer, not for now..

so i really am so sorry.. You can all go and say "seriously this girl?????" And say a bunch of bad stuffs about me or what-not.. But i just need to get this off me and i need to let you know.. I can understand if there will be those who will unsubscribe but what can I do right? I'm just one pathetic selfish writer and there are a lot of better writers than me out here anyways.. Hahahahaha