me and my boy problems again

I like this guy at my school

He is so sweet! He makes me smile and he is one of my best friends!

But something happened. one of my closest girl friends came up to me telling me to keep her secret.

Her secret?

She likes the same guy I like! And she knows I like him. So we were both kinda sad because we were both afraid the other one sad.

So i took a big step today and told her that I will back down. That if he likes her I won't take him from her. (theory: he likes me)

So now she is happy! And I am too! I get to make a friend happy!

But it makes me sad inside when she comes up to me and tells me about how he smiles at her or something and how she and him went for a walk or whatever. It just kills me inside to see him with another girl! But I have to hide my sadness from her. I have to put on a fake smile and tell her how cute they are together, which really I wish to have him as my own.

Sigh. He makes my heart race when he is near me. And i am so comfortable around him! I mean, I was laying down on a beanbag chair and he came to me and he layed next to me and such like as if we were a couple! Usually i would freak and run off. but i stayed and it felt great!

Why does my closest friend have to like him? She is so loyal to me! She helps me through the worsts of my days! but...he ends up being the cause of my sadness.

I know it is my fault cuz i said she can have him. And she did say no at first. she is a good friend. she wanted to put me first before him.

but still......it just seeing him with her cuz i just want to pull her away and i want to hook my arm with him!

sometimes i feel like i can vent about anything to this website cuz no one can judge me on here. no one will go and tell anyone i know cuz really.....who are you gonna tell?! am i right?!

I have had guy problems before, as you read from past posts about my ex.

but this guy i like now? I've never stopped liking him. I've liked him for almost a year. and i think he feels the same way. Actually, it's quite obvious. when he hurts my feelings he doesn't only say sorry. he holds my hand. when i sleep at his house (he's an international student. lives in a facility house.) he tucks me in before he goes to bed. He knows where my tickle spots are and he tickles me on purpose. he knows i love hearing piano music and asks me to listen to him play. (he's amazing.) he'd rather hang out with me than study. he ditched his friends from the same country as he just to hang out with me. he holds my coat for me when we walk down the hallway.

i've actually have had people walk up to me saying. "hey where's (insert name)?" I usually say i dunno why. "oh i thought he was your boyfriend"

when people mistake me and him as boyfriend and girlfriend, my body temperature rises and my heart grows. it is the best feeling ever! to be called his girlfriend! oh i wish it could happen.....

well this blog is getting pretty long....i should go :P

to whoever is reading this, thank you for reading this! at least someone is out there to listen am i right?

sarang hae

Comments

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sayrppoetry #1 Nov 17, 2011 20:08:15

You did the right thig for your friend... At least you are showing that you care for your friend that you aren't selfish. This reminds me of Teardrops on My Guitar by Taylor Swift. If there is time, you should wait for him. I mean the way he acts seems like he likes you but he is afraid to admit tht he likes you. As in he doesn't want to hurt your friend, but he doesn't want to hurt you. Get what I mean? Wait for him. When the time comes he will come for you. Then again.... Your friend will be sad and such. Sigh. I don't know!!! ~.~

-Angela-Zhang- #2 Nov 17, 2011 20:02:38

It's a highly admirable and honorable action, on your part, to put your friend first. :)
At this point, I think it's best to let the guy in question decide for himself who he likes. I know you told your friend that she can have him, but if it's you that he likes, she can't change that. He won't be attracted to her in such depth, if he is already attracted to you.
In this case, if he is attracted to you and if he approaches you in wanting to start a relationship with him...well, depending on how honest you can be with him, it might not be a bad idea to actually tell him what's going on. You mentioned that you feel very comfortable around him- that's great, and you might be able to talk to him about the problem. I wouldn't just bring it up, if I were you, I'd only mention this if he were to ask you to be his girlfriend.
Communication is the most important thing- people get hurt when secrets and feelings are kept. Sometimes, it's inappropriate to be too open, but in a situation like this, where both the guy and your friend are close to you, a little talk can go a long way.
Your friend sounds like a good friend. Let's say the guy does ask you to be his girlfriend. You could tell him about the situation, but ask him not to get directly involved (I think it's best to deal with it, between you and your friend, rather than to have a third party come into the picture), and tell him that you'd like to talk to your friend, first. I think it might make a difference if she knows that you trust her enough, and value her friendship enough to tell her, first.
Ultimately, you make the choice. You can't compromise your happiness, and if he does like you, his happiness. But gestures like telling your friend about it, first, might be all it takes to smooth things over. If your friend values your happiness, she will accept it, eventually, and find someone special, too ^^

Kay_tea114 #3 Nov 17, 2011 19:06:47

Intuition may be tempting but tell him how you feel just in case. If you know for sure that he will like you back then you'll be glad that you did. :)

Good luck hun!