Something that irks me

Woah. Second blog post of the day, and I hardly ever post anything normally. Haha, maybe I just want to make the most of the last time I go online on my laptop for more than a month. *sobs*

Well. A few months ago, I sent in a portfolio containing eight creative writing pieces to get into a really prestigious creative writing camp. A whole load of other people also sent in their portfolios too.

Now let me make this clear. I'm nto a top student, neither am I in the best class or anything like that. Hell, I'm actually  in the class with the worst overall score, and I think this has played a part in some trouble I'm experiencing in school right now.

I don't even take literature as a subject ( I'm in a pull-out literature programme I take on Fridays with other full-on literature students from classes that I didn't get good enough grades to get into). Some of these actual literature students are really stuck up, and don't like us non-literature students, all with good reason of course--some of them are really fantastic at the subject, way better than the average non-literature student could ever hope to be.  

However, I was the only one our entire school of approximately 1600 students to make it into this creative writing camp. This made some of the full-on literature students from the best classes feel upset. Normally, I sit with some of them that I speak to occasionally during literature pull-out classes, because none of my friends from my class go for the class, but now they seem to try their best to avoid me, and some of them are saying that I only got in because I'm half-english, and (somehow or rather) that gives me an unfair advantage over the rest of the full asian candidates. Apparently, I didn't get in through ability, because I don't have that ability, because I didn't do well enough to get into the top classes--their classes.

On normal days, I hate being singled out for being mixed. It makes me feel self conscious and alone. But this is like a double injury.

I don't know why I decided to post this here.. I know it's not related to AFF at all, but I just felt the need to rant a bit! Sorry for taking up your time if you've read up till here! Haha, I feel so much better now that I've let off some of the steam...

Hopefulagain xo

Comments

You must be logged in to comment
Roochi
#1
First of all, congrats on being accepted into the writing camp.
Second, i know how you feel. My mum was my math teacher when i was in middle school and kids said i got good marks because she gave me the questions, ignoring the fact that i did great with every other subject. The more painful part is when they befriend me for being the 'teacher's daughter'.
Well, enough talking about me.
You said you didn't get in through ability, because you didn't do well enough toget into the top classes.
One does not have to be in top classes to be good at a certain subject. You can be good at psychology and bad at math, right? It has to do with interests and pereference, i guess.
And you got chosen out of 1600 student, you, a half-English student, not a full English. I'm sure that means something, right?

As for the full-on literature students, you can talk with them and tell them that you do have no hand in getting accepted, you can't change the fact that you're half-English. And you worked hard to get accepted, tell them that you're sorry they feel it's unfair but you can't refuse such opportunity and you still want to hang out with them. I'm sure they'll understand, hopefully. I know it's easier said than done, but that's all i can offer. Sorry.

But hey cheer up; you got into a prestigious creative writing camp.
(about the pieces you submitted for the camp, none of them were on AFF, right? What were they about? Lol! I'm forever curious)