my bff is now like just a person i talk to.  we used to be close and we were so alike.  she didn't really like kpop, but would still listen to me rammble on about kpop this and kpop that.

we've known each other since preschool, but now i dont even know her.  shes really changed since last year. this year i was like the last person to have found out about her bf and when i asked her why she hadn't told me she was like whatever.  

i really don't want to lose her and i don't want to give up on our friendship.  but lately i can see her not being my friend in the future.  we've just grown distant.  there is also an other girl (E.C.) who is our other bff.  E.c and i were really good friends but now she is distant too just like Em.

Em and E.c are both goinf down a path i would hope to never even cross.  they are hanging out with bad and i mean BAD people, but they don't listen.  i am not one to break ruled or go against my parents, i also dont curse.  Em was like that but now shes saying the f word like it is normal.  i know many teens curse and what not but Em didnt.  E.c curses more and is bolder as in rude.  E.c i know is more free spirited than ke and she has more experience than in  i am the oldest of my friends but in mindset i may be younger, but still mature.  

you see now Em and E.c have left ke out and i've told then they apologize, but i also know it's my fault.  i dont hangout much with them. they want to go party or do something bad so i dont go with them. i've tried to advise them to not do bad thing and hangout with bad people but they don't listen. 

now they both have bfs and i don't like them.  Em and E.c have told me that they do drugs and stuff.  then i found out by other people gossiping about my bffs that they're s and blah blah~

i can see my bffs changing into those girls that care too much about money and put their boyfriends too much above themselves.  my friends have also started talking differently as in too much slanf that i, who is their peer, don't even understand them sometimes.

what im saying is that they are changing and have changed so much that they feel like an aquaintence.  people say tell me who your friends are and i will tell you who you are.  i dont want people to think im like Em and E.c but i dont want to give up on them

i also dont want to have to pretend to be ok with what they're doing.  now most of the things they say seem trival to me.  i mean they say they are ready to have babies and i say you dont have a job or money and inmature, cant take care of your own self.  i jist dont want to be like their mom i want to be theyre friend.  they never listen and ugh i need new friends.  i sometimes feel bad when they ask to meet my family.  if they had asked sooner i would have said yes.  but now how can i introduce them as my friends?  my parents will freak and judge without knowing, but now their judgement might not be wrong.  

even if  no one reads i just needed to let this out. if you do read sorry if it's too long, buf do give advice.