Hello, everyone.

I'm writing this blog post more for my personal sake than for anything else.

I'm getting ready to say good bye to somebody very, very important to me soon. This person may not know that he's so important to me, but he is.

I'm a really shy person. I don't make friends easily, and for two years, he was the only friend I've made. I could talk to him about nearly everything--everything I couldn't tell others.

I told him about my insecurities--and boy, there were a lot. But he listened. He listened and he reciprocated and told me his. And I listened. And I suppose somewhere in between, I grew to love him.

I don't suppose I'm in love with him, but I love him. As one would love a soul mate or a family member.

I think he is my soul mate, but that doesn't necessarily mean I'm his, nor does it mean...anything else but that.

There are so many piece of writings that say soul mates appear in your life to save you, and then, they leave. Because they exist solely to unlock another door in your life. They aren't yours to keep. And I can't help but feel that way, because we were really close once. It was only for a few months, but those months seem to stretch over a lifetime.

I was happy, even though I slept really late talking to him and schoolwork piled up, but it was fine, because he was there to see me through it. He was the muse to my stories, my poetry, and nearly everything in my life.

When our school wanted us to write an essay on someone who affected us deeply, I wrote about him.

By some miraculous streak of luck, he wrote about me.

That was perhaps the of our story.

Everyone knows that after the , it's the falling action, and then the resolution.

We grew further apart, and we hardly talked anymore. When we did, I couldn't help but feel that nagging sensation that he didn't want to talk to me. So I stopped talking to him. There seemed to be no common ground between us anymore. There's a gap between us, one too wide and too deep for any bridge to overcome.

The day school starts will be the resolution.

I won't be leaving him, he won't be leaving me, but in a way, we will be leaving each other. We will still say hi to each other, still converse like old friends do, but there won't be that feeling of intimacy anymore. Nothing special, no post-terrestrial space.

I won't mind though, because he's done what he was supposed to do. I'm happier now, in an odd way. I rarely think about suicide, and I don't feel as angry anymore. I seek out my friends more often, and I see how important they are to me.

I guess I should thank him, and in my own way, I will be.

 

 

Angels

It happens like this. One day you meet someone and for some inexplicable reason, you feel more connected to this stranger than anyone else--closer to them than your closest family. Perhaps this person carries within them an angel--one sent to you for some higher purpose; to teach you an important lesson or to keep you safe during a perilous time. What you must do is trust them--even if they come hand in hand with pain or suffering--the reason for this presence will come clear in due time.

Though here is a word of warning--you may grow to love this person but remember they are not yours to keep. Their purpose isn't to save you but to show you how to save yourself. And once this is fulfilled; the halo lifts and the angel leaves their body as the person exits your life. They will be a stranger to you once more.

----

It's so dark right now, I can't see any light around me.
That's because the light is coming from you. You can't see it but everyone else can.

-Lang Leav

 

 

 

People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that's what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that's holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can chage your life. A true soul mate is probably the most important person you will every meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then they leave.

-Elizabeth Gilbert