posted this on my tumblr, if you'd like to follow: amberbyulamkae.tumblr.com

 

 

dear T, 

two years ago, i found this picture on the internet. 

 

and then last year, i found it again, on tumblr. by then, i stared into his eyes longer and thought deeper.

 

wondering. who was he? where he was born? was he just a regular samurai bodyguard? or a wandering ronin? what did he fight for? did he have a lover? a wife? a family? did he have a life? did he die? or is he still alive?

 

and now, ever since i met you, ever since you left so abrubtly…everything has evolved. whether it will be for my own good to be alone without him, it will all depend on what the lines of fate writes.

 

all we both know is, you were the catalyst of it all.

 

i found this man’s picture in my collection again yesterday.

 

his stare. his stance. his spirit.

 

it made me think a little longer about this mystery of a man.

 

what if we had met much earlier in the past in this man’s era? what if then, our age switched? what if our roles switched? what if it was you who had the long term relationship and i came into the picture when you began to question it, too? what if i was the cold hearted one? what if then, you were far more messed up than i am now…and we fell in love too?

 

what would our fate tell us then..?

 

would you keep me a secret, too?

 

would you drop me in an instant then, too?

or would you still try to fight fate for me, even then?

 

fate can be so bloody cruel.

 

this man will always…oddly remind me of you.

the man who changed everything.

one day, you’ll just be the man in my past.

 

xo,

B