Don't really trust your friends

Don't trust people you didn't know

But...

Why did I think..

People who I didnt even know is more understanding me than...

My family and my friends??

And I feel like..

I have another family in the other world...

The people I never know,

But they make me more comfortable...

They make me think as I have a sisters..

...................................................................................................................................................................................................................

Life is challenging. I accept the challenge. 

My name? Its good just know me as Hana or Ikin. But I like you call me Ikin instead of Hana. I have many family members; however, I am the only one in my family that doesn't have a sibling. And because of this reason, they tend to control me.I didn't mean I hate them, it's more like I'm aggravated at this moment.

 I have cousins that really love and care for me. If I ask anything, even if its expensive, they will buy it for me. I know all of you might think that I am spoiled or selfish. I am sorry, but I don't have perfect English since it's my second language. Anyway, back to my story. They really are generous and loving, but sometimes, life is not as perfect as people may perceived it to be. For an example, when I took an exam at school and received the results, they will constantly asked me about it. It's annoying when I scored a little bit lower than usual because they will tell me, "It is so easy. Why can you solve such a simple problem? Aren't you smart?" Once they said all that, the only thing I could do is just smile sheepishly as I scratched the back my head. But deep inside, my rage was boiling because I felt so embarrassed.

My family? I only have my mom. My dad passes away on 3rd Feb 2013 . Its my bias birthday, Super Junior Kyuhyun. Its sad but isn't it easy? When Kyuhyun celebrate his birthday, I know its already a year my dad left me. I thought my dad will leave me when I grow up but he left me when I'm 14 years old. I still need a father's love. And the most thing I regret about him is I didn't really respect him when he is alive. I mean sometimes I raised my voice when I mad at him, and he will just sighed. He never ever angry at me because he said it his false I being like that. My late father was a drug addict but he stop it a few years before he died. I really proud of him. I always mockling him and , but he just smile. Different with my mom, who will angry if I raised my voice.  I salute them. They raised me as best they can. My mom always held her tears when she is sad or argue with Dad, because she didn't want I hate Dad. She always said that how bad Dad is, he still my dad. I can't deny it. At the first, I really shy to tell to my friend that my Dad is drug addict, but now.. I didn't even try to cover it. Its not like my Dad died because of drug. He died because of lung cancer. Nothing to do with drug.

 I had friends, but I would consider them as my acquaintances more than my close friends. Maybe some of them wanted to befriend me, but I know that they just wanted to be friends with me because I was smart. How do I know? Well, I made another Facebook account with a different name and asked them. They said that I was annoying and yet, they still befriended me because I was intelligent. They took advantage of my kindness and used me to help them on their homework and whatnot. But there were a couple of them that wanted to be my friend. 

Here’s another short story. I befriended a person I didn’t know and ended up trusting them. It all started when I made a K-Pop page. That person applied as an admin and we became friends. Most of them were females and they were older than me. One of them was Indonesian, and I chatted with her, using my language because she understood what I was saying. The other people I chatted were from the Philippines and Iran. I called my friend from the Philippines ‘Unnie’ which means sis or sister. All of us would discuss about our happiness and problems in life. They are like real sisters to me and I wish I could meet them in real life.

This is all I have to say about me so far…I don’t know if anyone will read this…