overly dramatic

sometimes i hate myself for being immature.

i know i have to accept the fact that I am JUST a fan, but sometimes i really can't get hold of my own feelings.

i tend to be clingy (possesive) with my bias to the extent that i get hurt just by seeing him with someone else. (particularly with other girls)

i know its a part of his job and i'm really being immature right now for being sad over some picture.

sometimes i even wish that i was just not a fan girl anymore.

so that i can save myself from heartbreaks from the person who doesn't even know my existence.

 

and to think that i actually adore the girl. I can't bring myself to hate her or the group.

i'm just feeling really pathetic by feeling this way.

 

maybe i just need to grow up a little by knowing my limitations of loving a person from afar.

 

because no matter how i'll wish or pray, Jongin will always be Peter Pan who will find himself a Wendy someday.

an i'm just one of the Tinkerbells who will sit and stare, cry my heart out someday. :'(

 

 

Sorry Jongin, I'll try to grow up a little more. :'(

 

 

 

(yeah this is about Jongin and the f(x) thingy)

 

Comments

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-KaiLu
#1
i know this is an old post. but yeah. i can really relate to you
luhans-vaqina #2
tbh, i never liked krystal. even way before this.

i tried to like her. but i couldn't.
eimerb #3
I knew it! TT OMG i was so amazed that you'r feeling exactly the same as me *sobs
-darkness
#4
i think your blog post was very mature and you did a great job finding a solution to your problem. don't cry yourself out. it's bad for your eyes and your health. be happy. be a supportive tinkerbell. kai loves his fans and he's supportive to all of the exotics. he may not be with you physically, but he'll always be on your mind. keep things on a positive note and you never know what might just happen ;)
-darkness
#5
dude its okay everyone's like that

but don't be so butthurt about kai and krystal. they're working together, not doing anything else.

to be honest, even though you may be someone's #1 fan in your eyes, if you're not supportive of EVERYTHING they go through, then i'm very sorry to say this, but do not call yourself a regular fan. that's what sasaeng fans are for. crazy, very attached people who will be angry and upset just because the idol is with someone else, whether it'd be a co-worker or any other opposite gender person.
i'm not saying you're a sasaeng fan, but learn to coup with things like this. now, it's just a little featuring in their fellow labelmate's music video. if you don't tough up, then how will you react in the future when they possibly get a part on wgm?

i might get bashed from the people reading this in the future, but i'm just saying what i think is right. don't hate on anyone; SUPPORT them. krystal is a very lucky person to be doing stuff with our kai (even though there are so many kaistal shippers out there; and i am one) and instead of hating on f(x) and whatnot, we should anticipate their comeback and spazz over the fact that kai will look amazingly handsome (as always).

sorry for my rant tyvm
kpop4ever12345 #6
I was like that but I just accepted the fact that I'll probably never be able to meet them in real life. And then it got easier.
LoveInColors
#7
wait...what happened? what fx thingy?
iloveukwangmin
#8
I understand how you feel :( Feelings are feelings. sigh. we cant help it if we feel that way.
Cshinmi #9
I understand how you feel. I just wish that the pain will stop. All the jealous feelings and sadness it causes, it will be all gone.
seluglitter
#10
I feel exactly the same way, I cant help but feel hurt because of it :c But be happy, you will surely be walking down the street; and you'll bump into some guy that will love EXO as much as you do, and then you guys will marry... (?) hsjsjsksbs xD <3
2minHunhanlover
#11
Aww don't worry.. Many fans sometimes have those moments too, believe me. So don't feel sad when it happens to u I mean ik it's not ok to think that but no one's perfect and we have our mistakes so don't worry when u feel that way about ur bias ok :) please don't feel bad~ <3