Do you sometimes feel like you don’t know a person at all even after the years you’ve spent together? Or that they didn’t actually take the time to know the real you? It was worse a feeling than being cheated on. The truth that the person didn’t even find you worthy of the effort was hurtful.

It wasn’t a perfect relationship. It wasn’t even ideal to say the least. It was full of sacrifices and sleepless nights and huge phone bills. But we were happy. At least I thought we were.  We had plans; I know your friends and you’re as close to my family as you could be while living halfway around the globe.

But like all other relationships that had to endure the distance, everything started to crumble. One day, you were telling me one thing while doing another. Of course, I could blame you all I want but we both know it was not the case. We started to fight a lot and it was the beginning of the inevitable end. It led to discoveries of things that filled both of our nightmares for the next few excruciating months. It made us question both our strength and our will to go on with the relationship.

Many people meddled. Many of them asked questions, judged both of us without knowing the whole truth. It angered me that people won’t give us a chance to fix it on our own. The end was not amicable to say the least. It wasn’t what we wanted. But we both know what that’s what we needed. To stay as far away from each other while we still have respect for one another.

I was trying hard to move on and do my part but why do you keep doing what you want to do? I’m sick and tired of the stunts you pull so you can provoke me. How were you this selfish? How can you not stick to your word like a man and face the truth?

You crossed the line today. You made assumptions. You didn’t only call me names any decent woman won’t be fond of hearing, you made me hate myself for even listening to you. You had the audacity to bring innocent people into this. You were cruel.

But do you know what’s more cruel? The fact that I still want you and that I wish everything was just a bad dream or a poor joke. It’s cruel that instead of fury, there was pain. Instead of hate, there was longing. Instead of scorn, there was love. There is love.