Hey guys~

I have this insecurity problem whenever i'm getting ready to sleep. Like i'll ask alot of questions to myself and worry alot about things. And idk i keep on thinking about kpop things too but mostly about happenings around me. It's getting kinda irritating since this prevents me from sleeping early. So i'll usually watch some videos or read fics to calm my self down. I told my mum about it and she says watching and reading fics are not really a good thing to do in this situation. Butit calns me down so idk. I find myself weird because i talk to myself in my head and i cry for unreasonable reasons. I dont usually cry but when im on my own, i do. Im scared im depressed or something but im clearly not. I mean, i share my problems to people and i think im doing pretty well woth the people around me. 

I have this feeling that my insecurities started like a year ago? Tsk. I think it's because im in my teenage years and everything is just...crazy. I hate how my class is always having their own cliques and stuff. We have never sat together during recess. Im not sure if this is a problem but it's something that i really want to change. Right now, i'm a middle person? I mean, some people might argue with one another and ends up hating each other but i'm still close with both parties. Sometimes, i dont know who to choose or what to choose. I'm scared of rejection. I'm scared that everyone will hate me for the decisions i make. Like i'm being judged 24/7. 

Okay it's 2AM here and im just glad i could let this out. I'll try to get some sleep if my insecurities allows it.