So i realised that i only blog here when i have nowhere else to go and am getting really bothered by something.

This is the problem then. God blessed me such that SHINee's going to have a concert next Thurday and at the best time, place and price. Its only 30 pounds! Including watching movie with them. As any other fan would, i was so happy that i jumped everywhere!!!!!!! But my mom just had to say no. Okay, fine. i will make her change her mind.

The next day, me and 2 others agreed to buy 3 tickets at one go because we're worried we wont get any. ok. so she'll buy 3 tickets and me and the other girl will pay her on the day itself. Hmm...things looking good.

The third day was the day the tickets were released. After some were sold, the website crashed. So i woke up to a crashed website. What bad luck! Everyone went to the cinema itself to buy the tickets. I couldn't get online the whole day and when i did at night, the website's working but there aren't any tickets left. Worst of all, the other 2 barely managed to get tickets. So i'm left ticketless. Well, i could buy from ebay cos some ppl are selfish enough to buy tickets and sell them at 100 pounds!!!!!!! but my mom didnt even agree to a 30 pound ticket less so a 100 pound one and i dont like the idea of ppl earning money from this. That means....I CANT GO??????!!!!!!! I couldn't take it anymore and cried. buckets indeed. and i cried so much that my nose bled.

For the first time in my life, i cried because i couldn't get what i wanted SO BADLY. As a kid, i never cried when i couldn't get a toy. I never cried when i couldn't go to SWC or any other concerts. This time, i cried. Not because of the reality of the situation but also a reality of what all this means. I came to realise that no matter how cheap the tickets are or how perfect the location is, i would NEVER be able to go to a kpop concert. This broke my heart quite badly. So that night (its actually last night), i couldn't sleep. and when my mind drifts to SHINee, i cry again.

For now, i guess i will just try and get it out of my mind. Maybe thats the best way after all. Just like what Jeremy did in You're Beautiful. he said that if he gets off the bus still crying, he can't be the happy normal guy anymore. And in that scene when he cried, i was crying just the way he did.

When i grow up, with a job of my own, i hope things would have changed. Let's just hope that SHINee wouldn't be too old by then. And i will continue praying, that someday, i would be able to feel the vibe of being in a concert. That day, tears will stream down my face. But of joy.