So there's this boy. Isn't there always? But I really liked him from the first time I met him. And he's become a really, really great friend. Awhile ago, I actually confessed to him. I had gotten impatient, because he kept flirting with me but wouldn't say anything. When I did, he told me that he liked me too, but that he didn't want a girlfriend right now. Which my mind understands, but my heart is bitter about.

But that was month's ago. And I should have gotten over him by now. We are still really close, and we just pretend as though nothing was ever said. But still, when I'm with him I get that weird twinge inside. That feeling that tells me, I should be with you. My words and my actions are that of a friend. But still, I can't keep myself from loving him.

Is it wrong that I think I need to kind of grieve over this? We never had a relationship, but I still feel like, months later, I need to cry over it. To get upset over it. Because I always just pretended that it didn't affect me. But now I feel like being with him is torture. I enjoy every second, but at the same time every second hurts because I want what I know I can't have and it's hanging in front of me in the form of a good friend.

Can you grieve the loss of hope?

I'm starting to think I should just stop seeing him, stop talking to him for a few weeks. But at the same time, I only have 9 and a half weeks left here (he's Korean) and then I'll go home. My heart's telling me I need space and time, but I know that I don't have that much time so I want to make the most of it. But waiting 9 more weeks to get over him is just going to hurt more.

Or maybe I'm just being stupid.