THIS IS WHAT I CALL "FCK MY LIFE"

Ok, so first of all, this is just me ranting so if you guys have something better to do, by all means go right ahead.

 

K k k k k k, so, first of all, my mom's friends moved into our basement a while ago, and I personally don't like the lady. Her husband is ok, but I don't really talk to him so I can't really judge. Secondly, if I have ever talked to any of you about this, you will know that I have a REALLY REALLY REALLYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY negative self-image. I look into a fcking mirror and want to take a sledgehammer to it. Mirrors and I have a mutual hate-hate relationship V.V Anyways, so many nights I've cried myself to sleep over this and it's a HUGE reason for my depression. Thirdly, the day before yesterday, we all went to my parents' OTHER friend's house for a Viet get-together and I was wearing a baggy shirt tucked into some high waist shorts.

ANYWAYS~ So, this all ties in together like this:

~ *blah blah* are thoughts~

 

So, yesterday, I went downstairs to give the couple a bag of longan cause we bought like a whole crate full. Anyways, this was the conversation (which was like all in Vietnamese)

Her: Oh, thank you!! Tell your mom thank you for me, too!

Me: No problem. *turns to leave*

Her: Oh, nowadays I see you are __(a word in Vietnamese which I had no idea what it meant)____!

Me: *What the fck....* Uhhhh, ok? What's ______ mean?"

Her: Oh, I'm saying you're fat!

Me: ...............

Her: Yeah, I saw what you were wearing yesterday and thought that you're getting big!

Me: *Why this ....* Uhhhh, no, that's how the shirt is SUPPOSED to *fcking* look---

Her: No no no! You're fat!! You need to exercise!!

Me: ......................................................................................................................................

Her: Before, your mom gave me one of your shirts to wash (they both work at a drycleaners) and it was tiny! Now you're fat! Remember, you need to exercise ok? All you're doing now that you're off school is sleep!

Me...........*train of swear words*...............*FYI , I have to study my off for the PCAT. I do NOT sleep all day*

And I left.

 

You know, this normally wouldn't bother me, but the fact that I've hated the way I looked for so fcking long makes it a big deal. And normally, if it was anybody else, I would've snapped back at them with an even ruder comment, but she's my "elder" and sht so I can't =.= That and she doesn't really understand English, so she wouldn't get it if I swore at her. I was JUST starting to get better about my self-image, and then this smacks me in the face.

To make it worse, when we went to eat dinner, my mom decides to INSENSITIVELY, might I add, bring it up all over again and tell my dad. My dad was like "oh, yeah, she was telling me that yesterday at the party too! She was like "I see SaranghaeSuJuChullie's been getting fatter lately!"

I COULD NOT FCKING TAKE IT. I was going to finish my dinner and then mope about it after dinner, which I'm usually good at, but this time I couldn't. I started crying and had to leave the dinner table. And I DON'T like talking to anyone face to face when I'm upset, but my mom just chases after me and tells me to come and eat. She thinks she understands, no, she INSISTS she understands, but she FCKING DOESN'T. She's like "oh, why are you crying? It's not a big deal! Just ignore her! You don't have to get upset just because she said something like this! This is just a small matter!"

 

=.= Oh yeah, mom, you sooooooooooooo understand me =.= This is exactly why I don't talk to ANYONE in my family about my problems V.V EVAR.

 

 

Ok, rant done^^

Byez byez~

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bootylicker #1
awwww unnie~ （ つ﹏╰） mianhaeyo! That lady is such a bishnat >> I understand how you feel bout that lady. same thing happens to me with my cousin...

If that was some other person who wasnt my elder, i would've punched that ugly hoe damn straight in the face. i hate being asked if im "anorexic". and other crap ppl say. That lady needs to learn to keep shut. i cant believe she would just say that straight out in your face... thats really rude. I would've talked back to her if i was in that situation. I dont care but im not going to let anything say shiz in my face and walk away. its like someone random person comes up to you and punches you in the face and then just walks away. i ain't going to let that happen!

but im really sorry you have to deal with her. plus, why did she move in with you guys? sorry..for asking.
ayakasakagami #2
Alright, I know that we just discovered each other through your fanfic and it seems a bit stalkerish that I read your blog, but I just had to comment here since I'm in a similar situation. First of all, I know that I'm pretty, but that gets overlooked by BOTH my father and mother's side because I'm a little chubby (not to mention my ies that look larger that they already are because I'm short omg why did I say that) and my sister is hella thin. They never fail to make me feel that I'm only "second best" when it comes to her (psh please let me see them compare me to their children who are fcking obese) I don't really let them affect me since I have enough suitors in school :)) What I'm trying to say is, ignore them. Focus on the positives: Are you really good in playing an instrument? Did you get a really high score in a hard exam? So next time that they tell you off, you'd have a different mindset and say, "At least I have achievements like blahblahblah" They'd probably be embarrassed when you show them that you just don't freaking care what they say. If you want you could try to lose weight, but do it for YOURSELF, not them. Don't change for others because then you would lose what makes you, you. Fighting! (:
Exosaranghaee #3
Wow..ok. That's just rude. What was the word? Maybe I know
her-story #4
I know EXACTLY how you feel.

In Korean culture and society, it's normal to say "O, you look fatter than yesterday" or "Hey, your face is so red!!! LOLOLOL". I learned thta people are saying these things as more of "Hey, you look really red, did something happen?". It goes the same for a LOT of Asian cultures (I KNOW FOR A FACT that this kind of stuff happens with Chinese people since I know a LOT of them). And I guess this happens with Vietnamese people too.

It was real insensitive to say something like that. AND TO YOUR FACE TOOO!

I hate mirrors. But guess what? ^^ A lot of women or girls that think lowly of themselves are actually a lot prettier than they think. But they get worse because they start to believe themselves. I saw a new report in Korea where they had these people take two separate bowls of rice. And everyday, (to the one labeled "Love") they would say kind words to the rice. But to the other one (labeled "Hate") They would take out all of their stress on it.
At the end of the month, "Hate" was a yucky and moldy and gross and... YUCK. But "Love" was barely moldy and actually white and you could still tell that it was rice.

It's all a matter of perspective too ^^ Live your life happy :) I'm praying for you x)
minsoph74 #5
I can't believe that lady said that to you!
don't worry! I bet you're the perfect size! *huggles*
Barlow2318 #6
Gosh that was so freaking rude. I have a two little sisters one is 13 the other is 10. The 13 yr old calls the 10 yr old fat all the time just because she actually has some meat on her bones unlike the 13 yr old who has a faster metabolism. I get so freaking pissed at my sister when she does that. Because I know that that kind of image of your self can destroy your self confidence. Anyway some people just don't think and gah you've got a lot of self control I'd have swore at her.
deliberatemistake #7
Wow that was really rude...seriously.
wunnie #8
Seriously? Haters gonna hate omfg!? Good on ya for having the last word in the semi argument. How could seh say that??? T.T some audacity she has.... hope you feel better soon :-) dont let someone like that pull you down.
SRHYnamwoohyun #9
OMG, how could she comment on you like that???
mintykyu #10
D: *huggggggggggggggggs* I have a negative self image too, because I look awful :p But for someone to so bluntly say that? Ouch! I would've cursed her out. No self control would be left.
rojeulite #11
That is very insensitive of them.. D: Small matter.. Pfft.. MY . It's not a small matter when someone is so sensitive about it. :( I hope they don't mention is again.. Honestly.

But you know, don't worry about your image. Most people always look at what is good about you, not bad.

I hope you'll feel better soon, even though it doesn't seem like it would be soon enough.. >.< But still, I hope you'll be alright after some time.
Zelo_Biased #12
That is pretty mean
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