I do know what I am going to do with my life. If I can make it to SM and become a singer under the label, it would fulfill my dreams of a singer and going around the world, meeting so many people and doing what I love to do: singing. If there is no hope, I definitely have PLAN B: fulfill my dreams of being a culinary chef and hopefully become a sucessful chef that could breakthrough the massive wave of male chefs. I already have enough money saved to attend a college in Ottawa, my country's capital city. I really want to go since I was told that top chefs come to this school to teach. There was the world's famous fruit carver who taught there previously. He could not participate in competitions because he kept winning. Haha.

What I really don't know what to do with myself right now is school, or well, my health. I really want to diet but my feet is stopping me from exercise. I recently hurt my feet during the Choir Nationals on Wednesday. Because I did not know we had to walk 30 minutes just to reach the restaurant, my flats really killed my feet. I had a big blister on my toe, two painful ones on the bottom and my feet had a few cuts. And because of my poor knowledge on health care, my open cuts have an infection. I skipped one day of school after the Nationals because I could not get out of the bed. I could stand for long. Luckily, they are getting better now.

Now I really have to plan my time more wisely. I need to settle a time to catch up with my math because I am failing. I am just really scared of math, I just don't know why. One time, it made me cry because it was so frustrating. *cue sigh* One more of year of it and it will be over. Also, I need to come in for time to finish my PSA for Communications Technology. 

I really need to start making more friends, in real life and especially on this website. What's holding me back is laziness to be quite honest BUT also my hook onto suicidal thoughts. They still linger and the last time I thought of it was on Wednesday. I was so frustrated with my feet that I just wanted to jump out onto the road and wait for a car to hit. I attempted to a teacher had to push my ahead to refrain from falling behind from the others.

Still, I am holding on. I cannot die yet. There are still things I need to accomplish.

well in other news, I watched The Great Gatsby. SADFDJKJDSKLHALJD LEONARDO DICAPRIO. HE DIED IN THE WATER AGAIN UGH OTL this man needs an Oscar.