Short Funny Quotes
- I have great faith in fools; self-confidence my friends call it.
- It’s not cheating unless you get caught.
- Quitting smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I’ve done it dozens of times.
- I think crime pays. The hours are good, you travel a lot.
- I hope life isn’t a joke, because I don’t get it.
- There is a light at the end of every tunnel….just pray it’s not a train!.
- When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
- Flying is simple. You just throw yourself at the ground and miss.
- Avoid hangovers: stay drunk.
- Most people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.
- Life is a waste of time and time is a waste of life, so waste your time and have the time of your life !
- As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in schools.
- I’m knot a blonde! I’m knot, I’m knot, I’m knot!
- Girls want a lot of things from one guy. Conversely, guys want one thing from a lot of girls.
- I’ve got problem for your solution…
- Some say the glass is half full, some say the glass is half empty. I say “Are you gonna drink that?”
- Your school GPA is inversely proportionate to your girlfriend’s looks and vise versa.
- Everyone has a photographic memory… some just don’t have film.
- Common sense is the most evenly distributed quantity in the world. Everyone thinks he has enough.
- All people have the right to stupidity but some abuse the privilege.
- When I was born I was so surprised I didn’t talk for a year and a half.
- Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again ?
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