One of my biggest phobias is trusting someone.  You know why? Because to trust someone means that you have to be close to them, and THAT scares me.

I don’t know why, but I have a hard time getting close to people, no it’s not that I don’t want to it’s just that I can’t.

Once you get too close to someone, you start trusting them to be there for you when you’re down and when you finally are close enough and have an attachment to that person you would have to move on.

Like going to another school, changing houses, moving to a different country, whatever it is. 

What’s funny is that for the longest time I would want that bond with someone but once I have it I start to back away and I try to distance myself from them.

Maybe I just don’t want to be hurt.

Or maybe it’s just that, it's better when it’s me who is doing the abandoning,  rather than being abandoned.